7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 388 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Mary Kate, Ashley, and their Simon sandwich

Upstairs at the CamPound, Annie announces to Eric that she's planning to have dinner with an old boyfriend named Robin. Eric says no. Annie says, "Bitch, I didn't ASK you, I TOLD you." RevCam points out that it's not the best time for StuporMom to go on a "date," when "the whole town's gossiping about Mary." Annie says he's just in a bad mood because of the gossip. She tells him they should have expected it. "Rick Nelson," non-sequiturs RevCam. "When Rick Nelson died in a plane crash, all the papers ran articles claiming that drug use was responsible for the crash. When they finally figured out that the accident was caused by a faulty heater, no one listened. The truth wasn't as interesting as the fiction, so what do people remember? That Rick Nelson was a musical pioneer, that, to this day, he is the only artist ever to have a number one TV show, a number one album, and a number one single, all in the same week...no, they remember the rumor, the gossip." It should comfort RevCam to know that I don't remember Rick Nelson's music, his show, OR the gossip. However, I bet you anything he was smoking weed when the faulty heater caused the airplane crash. Annie tells Eric that he's right, but that she's still going out with Robin. She has some kind of guts. If I tried to pull that with my husband, fire would shoot out of his eyes and burn down our trailer.

At What's His Name's Pool Hall, swinging bachelors John and Matt discuss the mysterious tacky bride. Suddenly, she's there! She's talking on the pay phone, wearing her dress but none of the frou frou that went with it. She's not beautiful like the guys are saying she is. Her hair looks like it was soaked in ashy bleach and then cut with pruning shears. She struts up to Matt and says that he gives good directions. Then she kisses him. "I wanted to do that when I saw you earlier," she claims. Matt says okay. Then she runs her fingers through his ever-greasy hair, because she wanted to do that, too. She walks off, and Matt says, "I'm gonna marry that woman." John prompts him to run after her and get her name. Hopefully he'll get some herpes, too, while he's at it.

7th Heaven

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