7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 2 USERS: C+
Thanks for Nothing

Lucy calls Matt out on trying to be controlling of her life and of whatever problem Simon has, and says she doesn't need any help. Then she grabs her stomach and makes a face. Because, you see, she's wrong. All women need the help of a wise patriarch. And so Lucy must be punished. Concerned, Matt asks Lucy if she's all right, and she says the pork rinds probably didn't agree with her. Pork rinds don't agree with anybody, sweetheart. When Lucy groans in pain again, Matt tells her to sit down while he gets help. She tells him to get in line and she'll just stand there until the pain subsides. "I need some space anyway," Lucy says. Ha! Those pork rinds totally gave her gas.

Martin enters the kitchen and picks up a ringing phone. It's Ruthie, calling from "Puerto Rico," which is totally the same set that they used for Annie's dad's living room, except that they replaced the giant cactus with a palm tree. Ruthie asks Martin what he's doing home from his camping trip, and Martin says that they came home early because it got cold. Whatever. Ruthie asks to speak to her parents, but they're not home. Nor, apparently, are they in possession of a cell phone, even though it's been clearly established that RevCam has one. Martin asks Ruthie about Puerto Rico, but she will only give him one-word answers in response until Martin asks if there's anyone else she'd like to speak with because, obviously and understandably, he doesn't want to talk to her anymore. She says no, so Martin says goodbye. Ruthie hangs up the phone, then says "bye." Well, she got the order wrong, but her heart was in the right place. Assuming that she even has a heart.

The checkout line girl makes eyes at Matt as she rings him up. Suddenly, Matt hears the cacophonous sound of empty prop cans falling onto the ground. He just knows it has something to do with Lucy, and dashes past the Brenditos display to help her.

The camera tracks past a row of pumpkins on the ground. Matt runs up to one of them and begins to speak to it. Oh, wait -- that's Lucy, clutching her stomach and moaning. We see that she managed to knock over a few display items on her way down, namely three cans of spicy garlic green beans, some fresh green beans, a pineapple, and some apples and oranges. Between the checkout girl's desire for Matt and the arrangement of the produce aisle, I'd say it's very clear that the entire staff of this grocery store is blind. And I, for one, congratulate the market on being so progressive in its hiring policies. Now if only they'd hire a racial minority or two. Oh, what am I even saying? We all know that this episode's token minorities will either be appearing at the Clinic for Sinful Unwed Mothers or have been mentioned, if not seen, as an erroneous example of the fortitude of a pregnant woman. Matt orders an employee to call 911, then hugs Lucy while she rocks back and forth. They then have to sit there looking stricken for the five minutes it takes for the scene to fade out.

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7th Heaven




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