7th Heaven
Gratitude

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Thanks for Nothing

Matt and Dr. Klein move to a large waiting area that seems like a much more public place for a flogging than Lucy's private room. The two exchange medical terminology, and it becomes clear that Matt really does think he knows more about medicine than an actual certified, practicing doctor. Dr. Klein says that he made the right decision about Lucy considering that she has a mild prolapsed mitral valve, which I looked up and am sad to report is rarely a cause of death. ["I have it; so does, like, 15 percent of the population. It's about as serious as having an outie bellybutton, seriously." -- Sars] Because of this, Dr. Klein ordered the magnesium instead of tributaline. He basically tells Matt to back off, and leaves. I'm just going to assume that Lucy already gave Dr. Klein permission to share her medical information with Matt, otherwise what he just did would be very wrong.

And now we're treated to the 7th Heaven writers' idea of how drug deals work, which is apparently smack in the middle of campus in broad daylight. Sure. Old Guy tells the sleazy drug dealer that his supply better be good for what he's charging, and the drug dealer says that all his stuff comes with a "money-back guarantee. Just like your finer retail establishments." Oh, does the girl standing next to him print out a receipt as well? Do they take credit cards? What a nice and extremely unlikely little operation they've got going on! Kevin gives the drug dealer some money and the drug dealer gives Old Guy a small package, at which point Kevin whips out his badge and the drug dealer tries to run away. I don't even know what's going on anymore. Are Old Guy and Kevin supposed to be college students? Is the drug dealer supposed to be a college student? Everyone in this scene looks about forty, and that includes the rather obvious Kevin body double who tackles the running drug dealer. They took "body double" pretty seriously in this case, seeing as the guy is about twice as thick as Kevin. But I'm not complaining because there were plenty of shots of the real Kevin running, his silver chain a-swinging, and it was kind of hot. Hey, on this show, your thrills are either cheap or nonexistent.

Annie has wisely taken over driving duties for the road trip. She and RevCam talk about how Matt is now older than they were when they got married. That makes them what, forty-seven? And yet they both look so much older. It's still not an excuse for how slow Annie appears to be driving in reference to the road we can see behind the car. They're driving from Arizona to Glenoak, and yet they aren't even on a highway. At this rate, they should be home in three months. I hope Annie packed enough turkey sandwiches! This also means that they were the same age as I am now when they got married, and I'm not sure if that's supposed to make me feel intensely relieved or extremely depressed. RevCam and Annie have moved on to talking about Ginger, and how she seemed happy to see them, which makes Ginger a far better actor than the caliber this show usually attracts. Annie says she likes Ginger a lot more now that her father is dead, and I'm sure Ginger really appreciates that. RevCam just starts laughing, because cold medicine can really fuck you up if you haven't done any other drugs in your life. Case in point: RevCam claims that road trips with Annie are still "fun."

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7th Heaven

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