And how weird that with all of Annie's bitching about having to cook dinner for a thousand people, we don't actually get to see that dinner. Instead, we get this really weird silent procession of everybody getting up from the dinner table and filing into the kitchen to deposit their plates. I mean, in my family there are only five people, and our Sunday dinners were generally rather raucous affairs with all of us talking non-stop, yet here it's like a monastery. Not that that's a bad thing, since the dialogue on this show is always so bad, but I'm just saying it was weird. Especially since no one, and I mean NO ONE, offers to start help cleaning up, despite the fact that the majority of them are guests in the house. If my mom knew that I'd been over to someone's house for dinner and didn't immediately roll up my sleeves after dinner and set to work on the dishes, I'm sure she'd die of embarrassment for having raised the Worst Son Ever, but here Camdens and Non-Camdens alike scatter, except for Annie and RevCam who look at each other and tiptoe back to the dining-room door, where they eavesdrop on Roxanne and Martin's dad, whose name we still don't know, talking about the war, with Roxanne saying the U.S. can't just go around the world policing everybody: "To most of the world, we're the bad guys. People hate us, and this is why they hate us." No, 7th Heaven is why they hate you. This is clear to me now. Roxanne touches on all the hot buttons like, "Only we're allowed nuclear weapons?" and "Only we're allowed chemical weapons?" and even gets into the whole "Bush is only president because of his governor brother" thing. Martin's Dad -- who has the longest hair of any Marine I've ever met -- says, "I couldn't agree less." "What?" says Roxanne. And then he says, "I couldn't agree less, love," and then he kisses her. I swear to God, this is what he does. And then he punctuates all his non-arguments by kissing her, in what has to be one of the stupidest scenes I've ever seen on any television show ever, and keep in mind I recapped Bachelorettes In Alaska: Looking For Love. Martin's Dad touches on his "twenty years' experience in an area [Roxanne] knows nothing about." He sarcastically asks if she thought the U.S. was going to let terrorists rule the world while the U.N. debates how to stop them. And if she doesn't think Saddam Hussein had anything to do with September 11, she's naïve. Hmmm. "Naïve," eh? That's certainly a good point, but I'm not sure Roxanne's convinced. Oh, he's not done. She's "very naïve." And then he kisses her again, because nothing turns a woman on more than having her arguments dismissed with insults. Oh, and that whole rigged-election thing? "At this point, who cares?" he says. Good point, Brenda Hampton -- I mean, "Martin's Dad." Only, the answer is, MANY, MANY PEOPLE. Martin's Dad goes on about how Bush is a good man and a real leader and he didn't enter into the Iraq action lightly (snort) and thank God he decided to "go after" Saddam Hussein, and the majority of Iraqis are quite glad the U.S. is there and blah de blah blah blah. Roxanne and Martin's Dad make out some more. "Am I boring you?" he says, and strangely, she says no, and they make out some more. At this point, even Toby Keith turned off his television in disgust.
Episode Report CardDaniel: F | 352 USERS: C+
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