7th Heaven
Healing Old Wounds

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
Soldier Boy

I have to say that Happy, even though he's a dog, is rather unconvincing as himself. He's still watching Roxanne and the Marine provide vessels for Brenda Hampton's revisionist history, in which the Vietnam war was lost because of people back home who didn't support the war. And guess what, Roxanne? The Marine really doesn't want to lose the war on terrorism, because then the terrorists are going to come for Roxanne and "all the others who against the war." The terrorists are going to leave the soldiers alone, you see. Even by the Marine's weird logic, that makes no sense, since he just said that the anti-war protestors are what caused the U.S. to lose the war in Vietnam. Anyway, they make out some more, and Martin comes in and says, "Stop. Stop it" with all the force of a wet paper towel, and walks away. The Marine follows him and we fade, blessedly, to black, while Roxanne realizes that if she's going to continue to argue against the war, she's going to need her diaphragm.

This has to be the least believable fight between a father and a son ever. I can't get over the way this show fades up too soon on its actors, so we actually get to see them standing there waiting for the "action!" call. And they say things like, "Do you even remember who I am? I'm your son!" and they wait too long to deliver their lines and it's just -- I'd honest to god rather watch junior-high drama productions, since they couldn't do any worse. One of the things that I find especially weird about this whole sorry show is that Brenda Hampton is obviously a flag-waving, love-it-or-leave-it type of person and wanted to write a show that demonstrates how much she supports the soldiers and how much she hates people who question authority (without at all realizing that the country she loves so much was founded by people who refused to follow the leader blindly), yet she makes the Marine an unlikable ass. I mean, the guy can't even bother to talk to his son, preferring instead to shove his tongue down some strange woman's throat, and when the son understandably gets a little upset (although not believably upset, acting-wise), he jumps down his son's throat and tries to make him feel guilty about how he came halfway around the world to see him. And when Martin -- who's mainly upset because his dad is kissing a woman who's against the war in Iraq -- says, "How can you kiss her?" the Marine actually says, "How can I not kiss her? I've been in the desert for nine months, surrounded by guys, being shot at. I'm a Marine, I'm a man. She's a woman." Lessons learned in that line: men aren't responsible for their actions; there are no women in the armed forces; soldiers (who are all men) deserve a little nookie from the women when they come back home. Martin also admits that he's never seen his dad kiss another woman before, but the way his dad is acting, I'm a little surprised that Martin hasn't seen his dad kiss every woman he meets. Anyway, the Marine finally seems chastened by this.

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7th Heaven




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