SuperMom and RevCam are having another family discussion, this time about Ruthie and whether they can afford to send her to private school. It's standard filler, except when Eric comments that Ruthie will do anything to get out of Miss Riddle's class and Annie replies, "Unless she's like Mary and prefers no class at all." Five bucks says they weren't talking about school there at all. Usually I'm not too pleased to see Ruthie, but at least this time she interrupts the umpteenth boring discussion of Mary not going to college. The CamRents try to sell her on the Eleanor Roosevelt School, but Ruthie's not buying, especially when she learns that her best friend Sarah can't come with her. Ruthie rudely states, "This is the last time I ask God for anything," and she stalks off. The CamRents look at each other sympathetically instead of rolling their eyes like they should.
The Colonel finally corners Mary and asks her to take him for a drive in her "fancy new sports car." She agrees to do it like she's granting him a big favour or something. He suggests going to the pool hall, and Mary nervously agrees.
Lucy takes over from her parents in trying to sell Ruthie on the Eleanor Roosevelt School. Ruthie says she doesn't want to go to boarding school, which unrealistically raises my hopes that maybe she'll be leaving the show too. Much to my chagrin, Lucy points out that it's actually a day school. I knew it was too good to be true. Ruthie goes on about some fantasy of running away to join the circus and marrying a clown. It's overly cutesy and irritating as hell. Can I move on, please? Thank you.
Simon is reading in his room when Lucy bursts in to confront him about promising she'd attend some party on the weekend. Simon explains that he's afraid his new friend won't want to be his friend anymore if he doesn't bring Lucy to her party. I'm so sure. By the way, the friend's name is Marie, but don't bother remembering her name or anything because I'm sure that by next week she'll have joined Jimbo and Ruthie's little friend Sarah off in that Guest Star Black Hole. Lucy is pissed because one of her friends told her that if she went to this frosh party she would become a "social outcast" and definitely lose the Homecoming Queen election. Oh, no, that would be so tragic!
I never thought I'd see Dopey in a library, but that's where he is now, eyeing his organic chemistry prof at the next table. He goes up to Professor Talley and asks him for help. The prof's a little rude to him at first, but once Dopey illustrates this scene's Important Message -- that one should not be ashamed to ask for help -- Professor Talley warms up a bit. The writers do a little damage control by having him say that Matt is probably not stupid, but even they can't bring themselves to state it categorically. Hey, maybe that's another shout-out to me! The prof agrees to help Matt, but only after subjecting him to a vaguely philosophical lecture about knowledge and life and death. You know, it's the standard sort of thing that this show usually butchers.