Jenny directs Matt to park somewhere. She gets out of the car, but he has trouble unfastening his seat belt because he's pretty dumb. After finishing a comedy routine that was as funny as Lucy's falling-off-the-chair debacle of three paragraphs ago, he runs over to a fountain, where Jenny is playing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" on a cheap-looking boom box. They dance. Jenny says she feels bad about taking Ruthie to the mall, but she's giving herself the Christmas present of not feeling guilty about anything. Matt says it's too bad Santa can't give that gift to everyone. Yeah, because then we'd all be sociopaths like Ruthie! How wonderful!

Morning in the CamPound. Lucy answers a call from Jordan on her Lame Clear Phone. He wishes her a merry Christmas Eve, then asks if she opened her present yet. Lucy doesn't really answer. Jordan says that Sal's monkey just opened her present -- he accidentally switched the gifts and gave Lucy the gift he meant to give Sal's monkey. He gave a monkey a Christmas present? And the present is a shoeshine kit? I don't even know what's going on anymore. Lucy asks what her real Christmas present is. It's a game ball from a basketball game Jordan won single-handedly or whatever. It's signed by his entire team, and he wrote "I love you" on it. Lucy pauses for drama, then tells Jordan that she loves him too. Okay, but that present sucks. I'd be all, "Yeah, yeah, that's great. Where my jewelry at?" And the actor playing Jordan is really terrible. I mean, Jimmy Moon was pretty bad, but at least he knew how to enunciate.