Mary cuts potatoes. Excitement builds as I hope against hope that she'll slice a finger off and then I'll finally get something actually cool to recap. But no, the lady comes in with another volunteer, whom she introduces as "Carlos." And yes, it's Kieforge, Mary's future husband, although he's got much better hair here. You can tell Mary is in love at first sight because she stares at him blankly with her mouth hanging open. Carlos wishes her Merry Christmas, then says, "So very nice to meet you, my love," and kisses her hand. Instead of being totally creeped out, Mary is charmed. I think Brenda Hampton has been filling her many lonely nights with one too many Antonio Banderas movies, and thus has developed a bizarre, romanticized notion of how all Hispanic men behave. That kind of thing happens when you don't interact with real humans on a regular basis.

Back in the garage, Ruthie asks Simon about the logistics of Santa. Simon says that Santa has worked out a system for present delivery, just like Simon has devised a system for where all the lights will go in the house. Ruthie points out a box of lights that Simon didn't know existed, and asks where that goes. There she goes again, crushing the spirits of yet another beloved family member. What a loveable little scamp she is! Ruthie asks Simon how he can organize Christmas lights when he can't even wear proper pajamas. Simon says he's heard enough about the PJs (seriously. This dead horse has been beaten into the ground, through the center of the Earth, and has re-surfaced in China, where it is quietly protesting the Three Gorges Dam and the cultural heritage the world will lose with its construction, not to mention the potential environmental consequences), then tells Ruthie to go get a gift out of the neighbor's recycling bins. She runs off to do so. I hope she finds a hypodermic needle.

Matt is on the phone with his girlfriend. She doesn't know how they can go to some dance together when he doesn't have enough money for tickets and a tux and everything. I don't know, Girlfriend, but maybe it would help if you paid for your ticket your own damn self. Matt says he got a job, although he won't tell her what it is. Considering that he's currently running a comb through a ratty white beard and we saw that Santa hat that was part of his uniform, I think it's pretty easy for us to guess. Girlfriend says that she doesn't have a job and can't afford to get him anything for Christmas, all the while lazily painting her toenails. Hmm. I guess it's technically possible for this show to make women look worse than it already has, but I can't really think of how. Matt says the only present she needs to give him is having fun at the dance.