Ruthie enters and asks if her parents are "still fighting." "Shut your precocious mouth, little girl," says Eric. Oh, I mean he says that they're not fighting. Ruthie asks if they're getting divorced. The CamRents mumble excuses as Ruthie walks away. Eric says that he doesn't mind Annie going back to school. He just wonders why she has to do it right now. Maybe she's sick of looking at your face, Eric. Ever think of that? Annie leaves.
Simon enters the kitchen in his all-black outfit. He's upset about starting high school without his junior-high buddies. Eric says that Lucy can show Simon around the campus. Simon gets all pissy, asking, "What do I look like -- a total geek?" No, honey. You look like a former boy-band member who's bitter because he quit before they hired the choreographer. RevCam starts, "I remember my first day of high school..." "We all do," interrupts Simon. "You told us about it a thousand times." Whoa! Harsh! This show is just full of hardcore declarations tonight, isn't it? RevCam is, mercifully, momentarily silenced by this smackdown. Instead of letting the sleeping dog lie, Simon gets all up in his dad's personal space and starts freaking out. "What if high school's just not a good experience for me? What if I'm unpopular? What if I can't make good grades? What if I never have a best friend in high school? What if I never have a girlfriend again?" he foams. Shh, Simon, don't you fret. You can have a bad high-school experience and then make up for it by getting paid to criticize shows about high-school students. Everything's gonna be okay. Hush. Eric tells him to chill and stop playing What If. Then Simon comes out with his cold-blooded piece de resistance. He tells his father, "Don't you wonder, 'What if my wife meets some college professor that she wants to run off with so she can get away from me and seven kids and all that church stuff?'" Dang, dang, DANG, that was cold (if grammatically lame)! Eric makes a face like he just found a pinworm on his boxers. Simon leaves him with that thought.