Detective Michaels pleads with RevBong to talk to PopRox and convince him to talk to Roxanne. Sounds convoluted? You bet! Frankly, y'all, I have no idea what's going on in this scene, and I suspect I'm not the only person who feels that way.
You know, this next scene doesn't make much sense to me either, and I haven't even been drinking. Simon and Asslee are having another heart-to-heart about the sex problem. Simon has had what he thinks is a big revelation. He says that he and Asslee just have to acknowledge that it's going to be hard for them to be together without having adult relations. Or maybe he's saying that they just have to accept that they're never going to have sex. Whatever it is, it wins Asslee back. Her eyes are all watery as she tells Simon she missed him. He missed her too. Just how long was their quasi-breakup? About twenty minutes? Talk about codependent. Okay, then, kids -- best of luck with the no-sex thing. I'm sure you'll succeed.
Kevin is sitting on the CamPorch, waiting for Lucy to come to him and admit her fault and his superiority. Come to think of it, this is becoming just as predictable a part of the show as the Opening Credits Timewaster. Check out this incredibly precious quote from Lucy: "I want to become a minister and I also want to be your wife, and I think with a little planning and help, I'll be able to graduate with honors in both those programs." Fortunately, Ruthie interrupts this offensive scene before Lucy can come up with any more gems like that.
PopRox finds Roxanne drinking coffee down at Pete's Pizza. He says he's been looking for her "all over." I assume that means Flick's, the burger place, Eddie's Pool Hall and Discount Rehearsal Dinner Emporium, and then finally Pete's. That must have taken all of two minutes. He tries to get Roxanne to reconsider quitting the force by explaining that he's not being pushed out. No, indeed. It was his decision to quit. Now that he's killed the man who shot his wife, he doesn't feel that he needs to be a police officer anymore. Great. Nice way to dismiss all the people who do this dangerous job for real reasons. He also maintains that Roxanne is a very good cop, which I have a difficult time believing. His delivery reminds me a little of Rabbi Richard's -- at least in speed. His voice is oddly soothing, though, and this speech would be a good thing for me to listen to the next time I have trouble falling asleep. All that's left to figure out is what PopRox will be doing with his time now that he's off the police force. Maybe he'll finally pursue his real dream of becoming a Vegas drag queen. As Roxanne leans in to hug her dad, it looks like she's got a coffee bean stuck between her teeth.