7th Heaven
High Anxiety

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High Anxiety

Usually I tape the episode from the Sunday night Canadian airing, but occasionally I can't face it and have to wait until Monday to watch. The great part about watching it on the WB is, of course, the fabulous lead-in, where the WB announcer makes it sound like the episode will actually be good. So, what will we be seeing this week? Well, judging from this lead-in promo, it looks like Lucy's going to cheat on Kevin "T-1000" with Chandler, and then the T-1000 is going to break off his engagement to Lucy. Having been subjected to a viewing of this episode already, and knowing that this isn't at all what happens, I am still convinced that the promo producers don't even bother watching the show. Not that I blame them, but still. Amateurs.

As the episode proper begins, we're in the CamBoudoir, where Stephen Collins is badly overacting RevCam waking up from a bad dream. It seems he's had one of those performance anxiety nightmares where he can't remember how to perform the wedding vows and he's not wearing any clothes. Interesting. I don't usually have the naked dreams -- unless it's an erotic one about Ed Begley. Heh, just kidding. I usually get the one where it's near the end of the school year and I've been skipping half my classes and forgot to drop them and don't even know what assignments I've neglected to hand in. Or the one where, even though I've finished university, it turns out that I never completed grade four, so I have to go back to elementary school. Yeah, I already know my subconscious is weird.

Anyway, RevCam isn't completely naked in his dream. He says, "I was marrying Kevin and Lucy in my underwear." Okay, but will there be room enough in there for all three of them? Ooh, that reminds me of another story that has nothing whatsoever to do with this show. My grandmother's church used to put on these lotteries where you buy, like, five tickets for a dollar. Most of them are blank, but some have numbers for prizes that have been donated by parishioners. Some of the prizes are good, but many of them get donated right back to the church, like the Michael Jackson Thriller album and assorted religious icons my dad won. Once my sister won a pair of shorts that were so big that she and I could both fit into them at the same time. If I'd known that RevCam would be needing them one day, I would have held onto them. What's that? I'm supposed to be talking about 7th Heaven? But it's so boring! Okay. Hey, twenty seconds of recap down; fifty-three minutes and forty seconds to go!

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7th Heaven




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