7th Heaven
Holy War, Part I

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Cate: C+ | Grade It Now!
Holy War, Part I

RevCam has shown up at the Glass house, breaking his promise to Dopey not to interfere. He starts off by telling Richard that he doesn't think Dopey is ready to convert, but before you know it, he and Richard are flinging insults at each other. And they're not even good insults. No, RevCam just keeps accusing Plot Contrivance of pressuring Dopey into this marriage, while Richard accuses Dopey of putting on the pressure. And on and on it goes. Even the actors look slightly embarrassed to be participating in such a stupid scene. This all culminates in both men deciding the wedding is cancelled. Um, shouldn't the bride and groom have some say in that? Not that it matters, considering that they're already married and are just throwing away their parents' money on this phony wedding anyway.

Robbie and Simon get down to some more fighting in the CamKitchen. When Robbie says he's going to bring the twins upstairs to get them cleaned up, Simon tries to make him feel bad by pointing out that they're his brothers, not Robbie's. I think Simon needs a little work on his technique if he thinks that's an insult. The twins are much better at it, though, as they babble that they want Robbie. I'm not real sure what they mean when they continue with, "Bobbie, Probbie," but the first part of it was a pretty good burn on Simon, who glares at everyone and then leaves.

"Probbie" follows him into the living room, the twins in tow, to try to placate him about the fact that he, and not Simon, was asked to be Dopey's best man. Simon accuses him of wanting to take Dopey's place in the family, as if anyone could do that. It would take an unusual combination of stupidity, self-righteousness, and really greasy hair to pull that off, and quite frankly, I don't think Robbie's up to the task. Simon needles Robbie about his duties as a best man, asking him if he's written his speech or confirmed the couple's honeymoon reservations. These days, I'm not sure an airline or a hotel would give out reservation information to anyone but the couple themselves, but whatever. When Simon asks if Robbie knows he's supposed to be bringing the wedding gifts to the reception, I have to laugh out loud. Where the hell did he get an idea like that? I'd like to think he's toying with Robbie and feeding him false information, but I suspect that whoever wrote this episode just doesn't have a clue how weddings work. You might want someone to bring the gifts home from the reception, but I can't imagine any couple tacky enough to cart their wedding gifts to the reception. What are they planning to do, show off the gifts? Like anyone would care. Maybe that's just some quaint Glenoak custom. I've never really thought of David Gallagher as a terrible actor, but unfortunately, his "dramatic" yelling in this scene pretty much proves that he is. Let's just say you won't be seeing any clips from this scene at the Emmys.

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7th Heaven




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