7th Heaven
Holy War, Part I

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Holy War, Part I

Dopey is walking out of the Glenoak Free Clinic when PC runs up to him. She's wearing street clothes and a wedding veil. Needless to say, she looks totally stupid. I don't know how she found Dopey, but she says she's been running around town looking for him to tell him their fathers have cancelled their wedding. Well, if there isn't going to be a wedding, maybe PC's just trying to get some use out of her wedding veil by wearing it around town.

Dopey walks into the CamBoudoir to confront RevCam about canceling the wedding. They have yet another dreadfully dull argument about Dopey's conversion, and then Eric tells his son that he will not be attending his wedding. He's arrogant enough to think that this will make Dopey change his mind about converting. Like most of his ideas, this one really isn't very good.

Back at the Glass house, Plot Contrivance is confronting her own father. Taking about a minute and a half to speak three sentences, Richard explains that he doesn't believe in this marriage and should never have agreed to perform the wedding ceremony. He is also refusing to attend the wedding, which is just fine by me. PC is upset, though, and she begs her mom to do something about this situation, since she doesn't want to have to choose between her father and Dopey.

Ben is drowning his sorrows in half a beer at an airport bar when his brother, Pea-Brained Moron Kevin, walks up. Kevin doesn't seem all that surprised that Mary turned downed his brother's proposal. Ben asks him if he's in love with Lucy, and Kevin says he is. Yeah, whatever. Ben says he is definitely in love with Mary also. In fact, he's going to buy a plane ticket to Glenoak so he can crash Dopey's wedding and tell Mary how he feels about her. Kevin suggests he buy two tickets so that he can tag along and see Lucy. You know, this is getting really stupid. Ten years ago, my dad gave me one of his frequent flyer tickets so that I could join the family in Seattle for vacation. He got the ticket himself and then mailed it to me. As the day of the trip drew closer, I still hadn't received the ticket, so at the last minute, I called a bunch of airlines to see about getting another ticket. The cheapest fare I could find was still about a thousand dollars. I can't imagine that a young cop and his firefighter trainee brother have that kind of cash lying around, so I wish all these people would just quit buying last-minute airline tickets. It's really working my nerves.

Lucy is still at the Glenoak Airport, where she's just phoned her parents to find out that while her grandfather has been located, he and Ginger can't get a flight into town until tomorrow. You'd think she would rush off to help her mom with the rehearsal dinner preparations, but instead she offers to stay and wait with The Airport Psycho, whose name is Doug, in case you care. Doug continues trying to pick her up. His efforts are extremely clumsy, but since Lucy will date anything with a pulse, she says, "Do you want to go to a wedding with me?" Doug responds, "Isn't that a little sudden?" Oh, pshaw! You've known Lucy for at least a couple of minutes. Surely that's enough basis for a lifetime commitment. As it turns out, Lucy is just inviting him to attend Dopey's wedding with her. You see, she doesn't have a date. She admits this terrible calamity to him while scrunching up her face most unattractively. Doug seems amenable to being her date anyway.

Mary and her fellow flight attendant are gossiping about Ben when they really should be doing their jobs. I'm surprised JetBlue actually allowed their name to be used on this show. I can't imagine they'd want people to think all their flight attendants are dumb-asses like Mary. The loser in question turns to a couple of passengers and asks if they want apple juice or orange juice. If they want either, they're out of luck, since all Mary's carrying on her tray are a couple cans of Coke and some bottled water. Hey, wait a second. These guest stars look a little familiar. That's because they're the Control Freaks who didn't want their 45-year-old son moving out of their house. So, why are they back, anyway? They weren't such fabulous guests stars that anyone needed to use them twice. In fact, the woman is just as annoying as she was last time, as she demands of Mary why she didn't accept Ben's marriage proposal. While the rest of the passengers go drink-less and peanut-less, Mary natters on about her relationship, explaining that she doesn't want to give up any other part of her life to be with Ben. The other flight attendant points out that Ben wasn't asking her to give anything up, but Mary's not convinced.

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7th Heaven




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