7th Heaven
Holy War, Part I

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Holy War, Part I

Well, it's finally time for the rehearsal dinner, which Annie has managed to scrape together with just a couple hours' notice. Maybe that would explain why there seem to be more flowers than food on the buffet table. We see a waitress carrying a drink which has so many flowers in it that it would be physically impossible to drink from the glass. I think it's safe to say the flowers outnumber the guests by about a thousand to one. The only non-Camdens there are that irritating Doc guy and his date, Matt's boss from the clinic. They're dancing while some Camdens sit morosely at a long table. I can understand why there's nobody from Plot Contrivance's family, but surely the Camdens must have invited more people than just Doc and his date. Isn't there anyone there from the church? Who would have been bringing all the potluck dishes for the original backyard party?

While his date meanders off to grab herself a stiff drink, Doc comes over to converse with the Camdens. Lucky them. Doc natters on irritatingly about borscht and living in a kibbutz while the Camdens all sullenly ignore him. Hey, the dude is annoying, but there's no need to be so rude about it. Doc gets back at them when he asks where all the guests are and why the family looks "a little off tonight." Simon starts yelling about how Robbie is not family and cannot take Dopey's place. Then he gets up and leaves. Ruthie busts on Robbie until he gets up and leaves too. Then she leaves. Doc makes me laugh when he says, "I guess it's me, because everything here looks as right as rain." Fortunately for him, his date comes over to ask him to dance to Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water." This leads Doc to start talking about the time he "toured" with Deep Purple. Actually, he just followed them around for a year, no doubt irritating the hell out of them also. By this point, Annie isn't even pretending to be polite. She's just sitting with her head propped up on her hand and her eyes closed. Doc finally takes the hint and departs for the dance floor.

Annie says, "Okay, I know why Mary and Lucy and Hank and Julie aren't here." Oh, do you really know why Lucy's not there? Since she doesn't have to pick up her grandparents tonight after all, did she actually tell Annie she's skipping her brother's rehearsal dinner to chat up a cute guy? Probably. Annie continues: "I know why the Colonel and Ruth aren't here." You do? Because nobody told us. No, that's okay. I really don't want to know anyway. Annie demands to know why Dopey and PC and the Glass family are not at the party, so RevCam has to explain about how he fought with Matt and Rabbi Richard. I can respect him for standing up for his principles, but if I were Annie, I'd be feeling pretty homicidal right about now. He couldn't have told her any of this earlier?

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7th Heaven

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