7th Heaven
Holy War, Part II

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Holy War, Part II

Back in the CamPound, Dopey and RevCam are having a very manly confrontation in the upstairs hallway. Matt tells his father that if RevCam doesn't attend the wedding, Dopey will never forgive him. RevCam in turn promises not to forgive Dopey if he converts. It's a standoff, I guess. Dopey says, "I wonder which one of us will win, or if we'll both just lose." Since RevCam will be back on the show next season, and Dopey won't, I think we have our answer.

Mary walks into the bedroom she shares with Lucy to find her younger sister upset because Mary hasn't been around to help her deal with the whole Officer Kevin situation. Man, sometimes the show's bimbo-fication of Lucy really gets me down. Mary is polite, for once, as she tries to explain to Lucy that she's had a really long day. Lucy doesn't let her finish, though, as she cuts in to say that she's met a guy. This would be that creepy airport psycho, Doug, from last week's show. Mary says she thought Lucy was serious about Kevin. Lucy is miffed because Kevin won't move to Glenoak after two dates. Yeah, what a jerk. This conversation is put aside for the moment as Lucy takes Mary to task for refusing Ben's wedding proposal. She tells Mary, "I know you like [Ben], maybe even love him." That's right, Mary likes Ben. In view of that, she is obviously crazy to have turned down his wedding proposal. Congratulations, Brenda and company. I think that may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Ever. Well done.

Rosina is on the phone with Annie, saying how glad she is that Annie called, since she wanted to apologize for not being at the rehearsal dinner. If she feels that bad about it, you'd think she would have called Annie herself, but maybe she's just not bright enough to figure out how to make an outgoing telephone call. That doesn't exactly bode well for the immediate future, in which Rosina and Annie are about to put together a plan to persuade their husbands to attend the wedding.

And speaking of lame-brained plans, Buffalo's Boring Brother Beaus (tm Whofleck) have gone through with theirs to come to Glenoak so they can talk to Mary and Lucy. Pea-Brained Moron Kevin asks his brother if they've made the right decision. Ben replies, "We're in love with those nuts, so they left us no other choice but to fly cross-country and try to work things out with them." I don't know about that. It seems to me the smarter choice would have been to take all the money they used for last-minute airline tickets and spend it on hookers and crack, but that's just me. All I can say to Kevin is that if you ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer. That's okay for Kevin, though, since he really is a pea-brained moron. He tells Ben that he's asked the police chief "for a transfer to the Glenoak police force." And I'll bet the chief is still laughing his ass off right now over how dim Kevin must be to think he can just "transfer" between completely separate and unrelated police departments like that. In case you're not absolutely convinced that Kevin is the stupidest man alive, the fact that he is moving across the country to be with Lucy -- Lucy! -- should clinch it for you.

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7th Heaven

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