7th Heaven
Holy War, Part II

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Holy War, Part II

At the Glenoak Airport, Lucy and Mary are standing around with Annie's parents. Much frantic waving ensues as the Colonel and Ruth are spotted, and then everyone has to put their acting into overdrive to convince us that they're all really happy to see each other. The great joy doesn't last for long, though, as Lucy is forced to tell everyone that RevCam refuses to attend the wedding. When Ruth wonders if there will be a wedding, Annie's dad peevishly asks, "Are you telling me that I've been wanded and strip-searched for nothing?" It's been a while since I've heard a good intentional joke on this show, so it took me a couple of moments to realize that that was one of them. The Colonel decides it's time for him to save the day, so he demands that his granddaughters take him to Eric. Stirring superhero-esque music plays in the background as the Colonel goes off to find a phone booth so he can change into his moron-fighting cape.

In the CamKitchen, RevCam is playing a game of solitaire. Given a choice between attending Dopey's wedding or playing solitaire, what would you do? The Colonel arrives and cuts right to the chase, demanding to know why RevCam won't be at the wedding. When Eric tells his father that Dopey is planning to convert to Judaism, the Colonel says, "Who cares?" I think he just earned my respect with those two simple words. RevCam says, "I care." Yes, Eric, but you really shouldn't. The Colonel tries to make him see reason by comparing RevCam's feelings now to how he felt when Eric rejected the Marines in favor of the ministry. Come on, already -- can't you just get to the part where RevCam learns a valuable lesson? The whole scene is just boring pap, except for the part where the Colonel insists that if Matt "goes out in the world and does some good, it doesn't really make any difference if he's Christian or Jewish." I agree with the sentiment, but isn't that a pretty big "if"?

Lucy and Mary are in the living room, anxiously awaiting the results of the Colonel's pep talk with RevCam, when the doorbell rings. Lucy answers the door to find Kevin and Ben grinning at her moronically. Without saying a word, she closes the door on them. I see that the rest of her manners are about as lovely as her phone manners. She tells Mary to answer the door instead. Buffalo's Boring Brother Beaus are still standing there moronically, but at least they're not grinning anymore. It should come as no great surprise to anyone that Mary also slams the door in their faces.

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7th Heaven

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