7th Heaven
Holy War, Part II

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Holy War, Part II

In the Treehouse, Robbie is telling Simon about all the best man arrangements he's made for Dopey. This, of course, includes the two cousins of Plot Contrivance who will be bringing all the wedding gifts to the reception. I really want to meet the freak who came up with that idea. No, really -- I do. Unless Robbie means that someone will be taking the gifts the couple receives at the synagogue and bringing them to the reception. No, I prefer to think that Brenda and company actually believe that an important part of the reception is to set up a big-ass display of all the wedding gifts, including those that were properly delivered to PC's parents' house earlier, so that people can admire them. Please don't shatter my illusions. Simon couldn't care less about the gifts, in any case; he's just here to apologize to Robbie and tell him what a great member of the family he is. In fact, he wants to set himself and Robbie up as co-patriarchs after Dopey leaves. His exact words are: "What do you say we both take over for Matt and keep an eye on things around here?" That really is the worst idea I've heard in a long time. Unless you count the tacky displaying of the wedding gifts at the reception, of course. Simon helpfully offers up the best man speech he wrote for Dopey, and Robbie is thrilled to use it. Well, that pretty effectively removes any degree of the personal from Robbie's stint as Dopey's best man. Since I'm sure Robbie won't even read over Simon's speech before he delivers it at the reception, I can only hope Simon jazzed it up with a few fine swear words and maybe some nasty stuff about International Pop Sensation Joy.

Dopey is packing up some of his ugly, shiny shirts when RevCam walks in to apologize. Obviously, Dopey has to accept the apology, since this episode is so heartwarming, you know. He does tell his father that he will be converting eventually, just not today, and RevCam expresses his support. Some manly hugging rounds out the scene.

Mary and Lucy are upstairs in their bedroom, looking nervous. Mary wonders if Buffalo's Boring Brother Beaus are still outside the front door. I'm guessing they are, since they probably figured the sisters just didn't see them. In fact, I'll bet they're still frantically knocking on the door to get someone's attention. As it turns out, I'm wrong. Ruthie has spoken to them and invited them to Dopey's wedding. Lucy says she's glad she'll have time to cancel her date with that creepy airport psycho dude. Mary informs everyone that if Ben proposes to her again, she will have to break up with him. She seems a little sure of her charms, doesn't she? Ruthie sarcastically asks, "Who are you, and what did you do with Mary Camden?" Then, when Lucy asks if she should tell Officer Kevin about her date with the creepy airport psycho dude, Ruthie cuts her down too, saying, "It's finally happened. [Lucy's] more crazy than [Mary]." Yeah, "crazy" works there, but wouldn't "stupid" be even more accurate?

Over at the Glass house, there is a knock at the door, which the closed captioning helpfully describes as a "doorbell." Rabbi Richard answers the door to see RevCam, who, I'm sure, is exactly the person we were all expecting in the cliché-fest this episode is turning into. Both men apologize and agree not to insult each other. Then Richard gets down to business and explains why he has been acting like such a dick. His explanation doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but maybe I'm just distracted by the fact that every sentence contains at least one "you know," and that Richard's delivery makes me wonder if he just finished shooting up a whole lot of heroin. When the "explanation" is done, RevCam says that Dopey is still planning to convert, and that's he's not doing it to please anybody else, but rather to "unify his family." Would that reason even make it past a real, responsible rabbi? The irresponsible, unbelievable rabbi on this show agrees to perform the wedding ceremony, however, and he offers RevCam the chance to co-officiate. He even offers him roast beef sandwiches. The way he's rhapsodizing about the roast beef is kind of weird, especially in combination with all the chemistry between these two in this scene. Is it possible that the roast beef is some sort of metaphor for his own, uh, meat? While I'm not sure what's going on in this scene, RevCam obviously understands, and he and Richard walk out of the room arm-in-arm.

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7th Heaven




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