7th Heaven
Holy War, Part II

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Holy War, Part II

Ruthie sees Dopey walking toward her. He's buttoning up his jacket -- to cover up the ugly, garish red vest he's wearing, I assume. He stops to ask Ruthie why she's mad at Robbie. She says that while Simon doesn't stand a chance of becoming the next Dopey, Robbie does, and she doesn't want to get as attached to Robbie as she is to Dopey, in case Robbie should leave also. Convoluted, no? I can't believe it's the rationale for the entire subplot that's been wasting our time for two episodes now. Dopey subtly reinforces the usual patriarchal crap by implying that Ruthie must now look up to Robbie and Simon. She submits meekly.

As Dopey leaves, Robbie walks up, right on cue. Ruthie learns that he's been eavesdropping on her entire conversation with Dopey. She wryly says, "How very Camden of you," which is a lovely shout-out to all of us. Robbie says he's sorry that Ruthie likes him so much, and then they hug. Huh. That sure was weird.

Plot Contrivance is admiring herself in front of a mirror while adjusting her ugly wedding dress. In walks Rabbi Richard. PC gives him a hard time by pretending she's not going to let him marry her, but of course she gives in. Laraine Newman overacts wildly to show how emotional this reconciliation is supposed to be.

Annie and RevCam are having a reconciliation of their own out in the hallway. As Annie tearfully asks RevCam if he's okay with everything, he tells her that he is. Thank God Dopey interrupts them before this scene can get any more maudlin. They are joined by the irrepressible Doc. He's as irritating as ever. Big surprise there. When Annie tells him how "dashing" he looks in his "tux," he says something about having to beat off the women with a stick. Everyone looks skeptical.

It's time for the wedding ceremony. How sad that Plot Contrivance has no friends of her own and must resort to using Mary, Lucy, and Ruthie as her bridesmaids. In fact, since Mary is standing on the top step, opposite Robbie, I can only assume that she is PC's maid of honor. There is one token member of PC's family in the bridal party: a flower girl who looks eerily like Ruthie. After she walks down the aisle, we see the bride. She's doing that weird wedding walk you never see anymore -- the one where you bring your feet together between every step. That's the walk that every minister of every wedding I've been in has told us not to do. PC is smiling a tad too brilliantly for such a fake wedding, and it looks as though she left her Crest White Strips on too long last night. Annie looks like she's about to have an asthma attack, while Barry Watson just looks like he's glad to be leaving the show.

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7th Heaven




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