Dopey returns to the CamPound. Eric and Annie are so thrilled about having talked to Mary that they just smile benevolently at him as they walk upstairs, holding hands. The idea comes into my head that they're going upstairs to have sex -- the CamRents, that is. But after half an hour or so of banging my head against a table, I'm able to rid myself of that vile thought.
The phone rings. Damn, I thought we'd seen the last of Mary for this episode. And I was hoping we'd heard the last of Dopey's dumb-ass theory that Lucy and Robbie are dating. But no, he trucks it out again. Mary gets him to admit that he got kicked out of his apartment by John. No one mentions the word "illegal," because Glenoak has no laws -- or at least none that interfere with any random whim of the writers. Mary also gets Dopey to admit that he's upset about Robbie living in the house. I suspect this whole conversation exists solely to set up the fact that most of the shows in coming weeks will deal with the conflict between Robbie and Dopey. Can't wait! It's still snowing in Buffalo. Mary asks to speak to Robbie, but Dopey just hangs up the phone on her.
A shirtless Robbie comes downstairs and informs Dopey that "the shower's free." Damn, if that isn't one of the funniest things anyone's ever said on this show. Matt just walked in the door. Why would Robbie think he wants to hit the shower right away? The phone rings, and Dopey hands it over to Robbie. We don't see her again in this scene, but of course it's Mary on the phone. Robbie tells her he's so happy that Matt is moving back home where, of course, he'll be availing himself of the shower. Just as Robbie adds, "It's like one big, happy family -- I love this place," Simon walks over to the refrigerator in the background. He's shirtless. Robbie may think it feels like a big, happy family, but I'm reminded more of that controversial Calvin Klein ad from a few years back, the one with the gay-porn look to it, where the raspy-voiced guy off-camera talks about ripping off some teen boy's shirt. But a show as wholesome as 7th Heaven couldn't possibly be drawing on that. Could they? Maybe it's just an homage to Jessica Biel's Gear photos.
Be sure to tune in next week for the big one-hundredth-episode bash. Don't let the fact that Mary's coming back dissuade you. Five bucks says it will end with a long montage of old clips in slo-mo, set to some of the crappiest music ever written.