Annie's planning another big family dinner, this time to celebrate her dead mom's birthday. Everyone bends to her whim except Ruthie, who has plans with Vincent and would rather disobey her mother than break them. Because Ruthie did not HONOR THY MOTHER, God throws a fiery bolt of lightning down at her, and Vincent dumps her and breaks her cold, black heart. Ruthie "cries" about this for a while, but then realizes that her mother is all she needs in life. How sad for Ruthie. Meanwhile, Melissa Gilbert plays a woman who wants RevCam to convince her mom to live in a nursing home, despite the fact that: (a) her mother is quite able-bodied; (b) neither Melissa nor her mother are members of RevCam's church; and (c) something else about Melissa being adopted and hating her job that I didn't really understand on first viewing. Because Melissa did not HONOR THY MOTHER, God throws a fiery bolt of lightning down at her, as she is a lonely old spinster career woman with no hope of ever getting a man. Then her mom gets an ulcer and blames it on her. Good message. Also, Ben visits, ostensibly to see Savannah, but really to get back with the evil marriage- and child-abandoning Mary. I don't know how hanging out in Glenoak will accomplish this, considering that Mary hasn't gone anywhere near that craphole since the beginning of last season, but whatever.
The hiatus was long, but not long enough. But it could never be long enough. We open with the stock exterior shot of the CamPound with that Little Tikes red car in the front. Who is using that? The twins are too old for it, according to the Little Tikes official website toy age range guide, and Savannah is obviously too young. Ruthie is probably small enough to fit in it, but she has Martin and Vincent to drive her around. In the CamKitchen, the twins are watching Annie stir chocolate frosting. For what I suspect is not the first time they have asked for clarification on the subject, SamVid ask who the cake is for, and Annie says it's for their grandmother, whose 75th birthday is today. At least, it would have been if she hadn't died in one of the CamPound's many guest bedrooms nine years ago. In fact, I think she died in what is now the twins' bedroom. I hope no one tells them that until they're a lot older. "When you get married and have children, you can teach your children how to make 'Grandma Jenny's Chocolate Cake,'" Annie says. So that's, like, what, next year? Season twelve at the very latest. And you know there will be a season twelve. Meanwhile, that sure is an interesting chocolate cake Grandma Jenny came up with, considering that it's quite obviously a yellow cake that Annie is frosting. Maybe she didn't want to make a true chocolate cake, for fear of awakening the CamMen's sexual desires.
Ruthie comes downstairs and announces that she is going out with Vincent. "Not tonight," Annie growls, saying that Ruthie is not to miss tonight's very important and very morbid family dinner. Annie adds that Ruthie hung out with Vincent last night and one night a week is enough. Oh, come on, Annie. It's not like Ruthie has any other friends to hang out with. And why didn't anyone mind when Ruthie spent her every waking moment with her other boyfriend, Peter? Lastly, get over your jealousy issues, Annie. It is possible for your children to spend time with other people and still love you. Unless, of course, they realize how normal other people are and start to resent your controlling ways and rapidly changing mood swings. The twins inform Ruthie that tonight is Grandma Jenny's birthday. Ruthie makes a nice little disgusted smirk. Mackenzie Rosman is always at her acting best when she's being a sulky teenager. Annie sets her jaw and repeats the rule she just came up with about only one night a week with Vincent being enough. Or maybe even too much, she adds warningly, so as to keep Ruthie firmly under her thumb. The twins share a gleeful "our sibling is getting in trouble!" look, and Annie resumes frosting-stirring, a serene smile suddenly plastered on her face.
Ruthie finds Lucy in her room. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Lucy seems to have made zero headway in moving out of her parents' house during the hiatus. Lucy invites Ruthie to join her and Savannah on a trip to the Promenade, where Lucy wants to buy flowers for the dinner. Seeing an opportunity to escape Annie's evil clutches, Ruthie says she'd be happy to go, adding that she doesn't really understand why Lucy is buying flowers that Grandma Jenny will never see. Lucy says that she likes to think that Grandma Jenny and Grandpa Charles are "smiling down" on them from Heaven. I'm glad someone remembered poor old Grandpa, although I really doubt that he and Grandma Jenny are going to take time out of their busy Heaven routine of playing Cloud Golf with Benjamin Franklin and Beethoven to watch the stupid and boring Camdens go about their stupid and boring lives. Especially since the one time they did try it, they totally saw the CamRents having sex in the kitchen while the CamKids sat around in the living room, and vowed to never, ever do it again. Lucy asks Ruthie why she has an attitude. What attitude? I think Ruthie's question was reasonable, especially since we've never seen or heard anything about celebrating Grandma Jenny's birthday before, nor did anyone seem to care too much when her husband, Grandpa Charles, died. For that matter, where have the Colonel and Grandma Ruth been lately? No one seems to give a crap about them, and they're actually alive. A phone rings off-screen, and Annie screams to Ruthie that it's Vincent. Amazingly, Annie will allow Ruthie to speak with him. Lucy says hello to her baby. Insert shot of very cute baby.