7th Heaven
Hoop Dreams

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Hoop Dreams

This episode begins with the brilliant plot device of Mary's dream. Mary dreamed she was a professional basketball player. Subsequently, she of course believes that she will, in fact, become a professional basketball player in her waking life. All I want to say at this point is THANK HEAVEN for 7th Heaven. As a parent, I worry. With the way the world is today, I have to worry about my children and the trials they will endure. I wonder if I'm up to the challenge of raising my sons with morals in this nation, which has sadly lost sight of the family values that you and I hold dear. I'm glad to have a beacon in the storm. That beacon is 7th Heaven. Its light is shone brightly by Aaron Spelling. Because of him, I now know how to respond in the face of my children's non-premonition dreams.

So Coach Cleary wants to meet with Mary. Mary figures it must be because he wants to get her on a pro team. Why does she assume this? Because of the dream, silly! Mary tells this to Annie, who is skeptical. Annie says that dreams are like movies. They're entertainment. Some are good, some are bad. I agree. Dreams are like movies, and mushroom-induced hallucinations are like cheesy television. I ate a mushroom that I found in my garden yesterday. I had this MESSED up vision of Reverend Camden -- he was wearing a wig and stealing my pecans. As soon as my head cleared, I went into my bedroom, lit my Virgen de Milagros candle, and cranked on the tape of this episode. I'm feeling much better now, thanks.

Mary maintains that the coach must be calling to "set [her] up with the pros." Annie asks her about college. Mary says this could be better than college. She sighs and asks why StuporMom isn't excited for her. Annie will be excited when she finds out what Coach Cleary is up to. She's sure it's something good. Mary and her orange vest go out the front door. RevCam, Simon, and Ruthie come downstairs. Ruthie asks Annie if she's heard that Mary's going to play pro ball. RevCam says that Mary still has four years of college ahead of her. Ruthie says she dreams of being the queen of England. Everyone smiles, which they really shouldn't do because it only encourages her to say these stupid things. Ruthie goes outside. RevCam asks Simon what he wants to be when he grows up. The big, black caterpillars on Simon's forehead move around as he says, "I don't know. Not a minister," and walks off. Dang, Simon, just stab your dad right in the head, why don't you? Annie tries to play it off. RevCam is still hurt. Annie does that trick where she makes each eyeball look at opposite sides of the room as she tells him, "Oh, come on. You can't take that to heart. He didn't mean to hurt you!" Intellectually, RevCam knows that. And yet . . . and yet he's still making his sad face. Poor guy. I can't believe Simon doesn't want to grow up to overthrow his dad in the high-stakes world of local Christendom.

Lucy's up in the nursery, replacing a knob on the twins' dresser. ("Knob" -- shout-out to Maggie!) Annie walks in and says the school bus is pulling out. I think she means their cool electric van, though. Lucy asks her mom to put back the tool box for her. Annie says "sure" and they hug. "Oh, no!" I thought. "Here comes the hammering episode we all dreamed about and thus predicted! Shout-out to the MBTV 7th Heaven forum chatters! Woo!" But then Lucy leaves and Annie says, "That's my girl!" and I realize that this scene was just filler.

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7th Heaven




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