Speaking of exes -- and totally contrived plotlines -- Lucy is surprised to find Jeremy at her school. He explains that since he had a few days off, he came to visit a friend in the music department. Lucy repeats that back to him incredulously, as though even she has trouble believing that the writers would come up with something that stupid. I seem to remember him asking for his crappy engagement ring back because he was short on cash, yet now he can afford to fly across the country for a few days? He busts out the ring in question, saying something about "unfinished business." This really freaks Lucy out, and she starts rambling about how she wishes he wouldn't do this to her on Valentine's Day -- you know, the most sacred of church holidays in the CamWorld -- especially since she doesn't even have a date. Quel horreur! However, it turns out that Jeremy is not even proposing; he's just showing her the ring and then staring at her while she natters on about not wanting to get back together with him. Cutting her off mid-natter would have been the kind thing to do, but he seems to be enjoying her discomfiture, only finally telling her that he's returning the ring to the jeweler he bought it from. Like he couldn't have found anyone to buy the ring in New York. Lucy seems embarrassed now, even though the way he was showing her the ring did make it look a little like a proposal, albeit a lame one. I can't say that stringing Lucy along like that makes Jeremy a very nice person, but it does make me like him a little more. Lucy evidently has no problem with the way he just humiliated her, or maybe the prospect of being dateless on Valentine's Day is just too horrific to imagine, since she asks Jeremy out. It's time for Humiliation: The Sequel as Jeremy turns her down, saying that he's meeting a friend at the pool hall, and he doesn't think she'll "be comfortable with this particular friend." Oddly enough, he winks as he says this, though since that makes no sense whatsoever, maybe it's just a facial tic. With a glib "See ya around," he leaves.
Mary is still on her Stop Sex! crusade. She meets Joy at the pizza place and starts leading up to divulging Robbie's big VD surprise by saying, "I probably shouldn't tell what I'm going to tell you, but I was in the same position you were in just two years ago, and it would have been really nice if someone had told me what I'm going to tell you." Instead of waiting for her to continue, Joy rudely replies, "Sorry, you're making absolutely no sense, which I have to say Robbie says you do a lot." Man, what a bitch! If I were Mary (God forbid), I'd just walk on out of there right now, but an apparent side effect of Mary's great rudeness is that she is impervious to other people's impoliteness as well, so she melodramatically continues, "Robbie's planning to take you to a hotel. He's going to try to sleep with you!" Oh, no! Holy shit! For the love of God, somebody please stop him before he schtups again! Because Joy's acting abilities leave so much to be desired, it's hard to tell whether she finds the hotel prospect enticing or scary. Maybe if Robbie throws in a little phone sex from one of RevCam's books, it'll tip the balance for her.