7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 1592 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Dorothea Lange Spins In Her Grave

With many pauses and deep sighs, Allan says that Zoe told Ruthie about her family's "situation" after she passed out at school the other day. And now Zoe thinks that Martin doesn't want to see her anymore because, as Allan explains -- and this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen in the history of this show -- "we're -- I guess there's no other way to say it -- we're POOR! And sir? We're HUNGRY!" I don't see how his stomach can be empty, what with all that scenery he's chewing. But oh, how I laughed when he said that, especially when the Violins and Guitars of Great Tragedy started blaring so as to maximize the emotional impact. RevCam licks his lips with empathy. Only 7th Heaven could make me take such great delight in the misfortune of others. Oh! A commercial! I'm gonna go get a Lean Cuisine. For some odd reason, I'm suddenly starving.

After the commercial, Allan is furious that RevCam would even suggest that he go on food stamps. RevCam says they aren't actually food stamps anymore; you get a credit card-like thing. Allan says he cannot ask his wife to do that. Apparently, he has no problem asking his wife to do all the grocery shopping. RevCam patiently explains that a lot of people are in the same situation, because not everyone can score a free mansion and a boss who looks the other way when you reach into the collection plate. Allan says it's embarrassing that he can't feed his own family. After paying for the mortgage, utilities, and the car, there's no money left over for food. Hopefully, he can put a pennies together for a class on how to prioritize, because I would think that keeping your daughter nourished enough so that she isn't passing out all the time is significantly more important than electricity or transportation. Allan says that after he lost his job, he went out and got three jobs and worked eighteen hours a day. But then he lost one of his part-time jobs, and now he's screwed. Shouldn't he be at one of his jobs right now, though? Allan says that his wife works, too, and they're trying to sell the house, but it needs so much work that no one will buy it (hello, Kinkirks!). I just want to know how the hell Allan and his wife are working three jobs between them and they still can't afford food. Even if the jobs were minimum wage, that's still enough to feed your family, especially since I don't think Zoe has any brothers or sisters. ["Well, seriously. Does she have a tapeworm or something? Also -- ever heard of filing for personal bankruptcy? It doesn't make for the most compelling TV in the world, but 1) neither does this and 2) at least it'll let you eat. Shut up, Brenda." -- Sars] RevCam spits out some crap he learned in his Economics 101 class about how income hasn't kept up with the cost of living, then asks if Zoe "understands" her situation. Allan says she does, but he and his wife don't like to see her "suffer," so they try to give her all the things she needs to fit in with today's fashionable teens. Okay, but if you don't want your daughter to "suffer," Allan, maybe you should SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR FOOD?! Or maybe Zoe could pay for her own stupid crap by getting her own job, like every other kid in America. Working at a food service place would be an added bonus, as she'd be getting free food. Why am I even thinking of solutions for these people's made-up problems? I really, really doubt that there are people out there who would let their kids go hungry because they spent their money on jeans. And if there are, I don't feel sorry for them.

7th Heaven

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