7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 1592 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Dorothea Lange Spins In Her Grave

The drama just doesn't stop, folks! Ruthie enters the bathroom and sees a girl passed out on the floor. Two random girls are hovering over her, wondering if they should call a nurse. The fainting girl, Zoe, a.k.a. That Girl Who Wants To Have Sex With Martin Even Though He Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Her, wakes up and says no nurse needs to be called because she faints "all the time." That is some terrible logic there. Zoe yells at the girls to go away, and they are happy to oblige. Zoe tells Ruthie not to tell Martin about her shameful fainting spell, and asks the supposedly crying Ruthie what her problem is. Ruthie says Zoe wouldn't understand. Zoe says Ruthie would be surprised. Unless, of course, she read the episode title. Then she, like me, would be bored to tears.

Martin finds Vincent waiting outside the bathroom. Vincent asks him to tell Ruthie he's "really sorry," and walks away. Martin watches him go for about twenty minutes. Theme song!

Our Opening Credits Timewaster is a slow pan across SamVid's room to Vid, who is having his temperature taken. Annie and Sam watch, anxious. The suspense, it builds. Finally, Annie checks the thermometer and reports that Vid doesn't have a fever. How anti-climatic! Vid asks for chocolate pudding. "Chocolate pudding? Is that what you want?" Annie says. Well, yes, Annie, it is. You know this because he said he wanted chocolate pudding. Vid says he thinks chocolate pudding will make his throat feel better. Sam asks for pudding, too, but Annie says it's too close to dinner, and that she'll get him an apple instead. Sam sticks out his tongue in disgust. He asks why Vid gets pudding and he doesn't, and Annie says it's because Vid is sick and Sam isn't. She orders Sam to the kitchen to help her make dinner. Sam crosses his arms and frowns, but leaves the room. This is the best acting Sam has ever done.

Zoe and Martin have pizza on the Promenade. In a highly unusual display of continuity, Martin says his coach gave the team the afternoon off practice after they won the tournament last weekend. Zoe says that the pizza at "Antonio's" is better than Pete's. Martin says he can't afford such fine cuisine. Zoe points out that Martin is driving a new car, so money can't be that tight. Martin snaps that his dad bought him the new car, and that was only because Martin is staying at the CamPound for free, and it would "be rude" to ask to borrow their car. It's kind of rude to stay at a supposedly cash-strapped family's house for free when you have the money to pay rent, too. Perhaps his grief over the death of BabyAunt on last week's Jack and Bobby has interfered with Martin's memory, but mine is just fine and I seem to recall Martin saying he got a large inheritance when his mom died. Martin says he likes his car, but he'd rather have his dad home and take the bus. Oh, Martin, your life is so hard. Everybody cry for Martin! Zoe offers to treat cheapo Martin to a dinner at Antonio's, where she claims her family eats at all the time, but he is noncommittal. Zoe asks if she can take the rest of the pizza home with her for her housekeeper. She then changes the subject to Ruthie and Vincent, and immediately lets it slip that Ruthie was wearing Margo's jacket. "Oh no," Zoe says, her voice completely devoid of any regret, "I wasn't supposed to say anything." "About?" asks Martin, who apparently wasn't paying attention. "Well --" Zoe starts before she is abruptly cut off for a new scene.

7th Heaven

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