7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 4 USERS: B+
Dorothea Lange Spins In Her Grave

On her way into the house, Ruthie takes her jacket out of her backpack and throws it in the garbage. In the kitchen, Annie greets Ruthie with some nosy questions about Vincent, then asks where Ruthie's "new" jacket is. Ruthie lies that she left it in her locker, and runs upstairs, asking Annie to tell Vincent she's not home if he happens to call. "Does that mean you're expecting him to call?" asks Annie. Ruthie doesn't answer.

Sam is sitting on the stairs, staring at his apple. He offers it to Ruthie, complaining about how Vid gets to eat pudding while he just gets a yucky apple. "There's nothing yucky about an apple!" snaps Juanita Appleseed. She tells Sam to be grateful that he has food at all, and runs upstairs. Sam stares at his apple as he tries to remember his next line.

Sam walks into his bedroom, where Vid is enjoying his pudding. "How's the apple?" Vid asks. "It's delicious! Wanna swap?" Sam Tom Sawyers. "No, I don't," says Vid, because he is, after all, the smarter twin. Sam glares at Vid, who goes back to eating his pudding. What the hell is going on here? I'm actually enjoying the twins today!

Kevin asks Lucy if she wants to go out to dinner tonight. He wants it to be just the two of them, someplace "dark and romantic," which makes sense when you consider that for a dinner with Lucy to be romantic, it would have to be very dark indeed. Dark, and each diner would have his own soundproof chamber. Kevin says they can "let" the CamRents watch Savannah while they're out. How generous of them! Lucy says no way, explaining that Annie has her hands full with sick Vid, and Lucy doesn't want any of Vid's germs getting near Savannah. There's a simple solution to that problem, Lucy: MOVE. Kevin is disappointed. Lucy squeezes his cheeks and says they can go out some other time. By the way, Lucy says all her lines in a baby voice, which is very annoying, although not more so than Lucy usually is. Kevin suggests bringing dinner upstairs and having a candlelight dinner. Lucy doesn't pay attention to that, focusing instead on Savannah's nose: "You have the cutest widdle nose! It's so teeny-tiny, I don't know how you get any air!" Possible set-up for a touching episode on SIDS? You be the judge.

And just when you thought this show couldn't get any more mundane, we cut to RevCam and Annie doing laundry. A phone rings. They don't answer it. RevCam asks about Vid, and Annie says he says he's still sick, but he seems okay. The phone rings again. Annie asks RevCam to take the garbage out. The phone rings again. RevCam gets the garbage together to take out. The phone rings again. Ah, the inherent suspense of domestic tranquility! RevCam finally acknowledges the ringing phone, asking if it's Vincent calling for Ruthie. "I guess so," says Annie. No one answers the phone. They'd better hope it's Vincent, and not someone calling the house with an emergency, like one of RevCam's parishioners, or a Glenoakian who isn't a parishioner but seeks out advice from RevCam anyway, or Mary, who's probably been trying to call for a long time now, but since everyone would prefer to think of her as evil and non-communicative, no one answers the phone.

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7th Heaven




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