7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 4 USERS: B+
Dorothea Lange Spins In Her Grave

Kevin starts to set the table. Martin asks him for advice; he wants to break up with Zoe because she's always talking about how much money she has and it makes him "really uncomfortable." That, and the fact that she has a vagina. Martin adds that never wanted to be with her in the first place, and now he really doesn't want to be with her. I don't think Kevin is the right person to ask about this, seeing as he's still married to Lucy, who makes him live in her parents' house, ignores his concerns, and won't have sex with him. Kevin's advice is for Martin to just ignore Zoe and stop hanging out with her. And if Martin and Zoe were in second grade, and Zoe were bullying Martin, this would be good advice. Martin says he's pretty sure he should say something to Zoe. Kevin says if they didn't have a boyfriend and girlfriend commitment, then he doesn't have to. Be sure to pick up Kevin's self-help book, How To Be An Asshole To Everyone, on sale in bookstores now.

Lucy and Ruthie load the dishwasher. Lucy asks Ruthie if she's still sad about Vincent, and says everything will be okay. Ruthie snaps that if Lucy has to speak to someone in her baby voice, she can talk to her baby. She takes off. Kevin, watching from the kitchen table, laughs. Lucy says that Ruthie has been in a bad mood ever since Vincent dumped her. Kevin says he thinks it was Lucy's baby talk that put Ruthie in a bad mood. "I was just being sympathetic," Lucy says, then asks Kevin if he's done with his soup. Kevin says he is. Lucy says there's one bite left. Kevin says he's done. Lucy picks up the spoon and waves it around in Kevin's face. "Just one more widdle bite!" she says. Kevin snaps, "Put down that spoon or I'll...I'll..." at which point he just stands up and leaves. I hope he comes back with a better idea of how to deliver that line.

RevCam's got Savannah, and he's making a break for the door! But Kevin is there, and he takes the baby back. He holds Savannah, and RevCam says Kevin is getting to be "like a pro" when it comes to baby-holding. "I really love her, you know?" says Kevin. Too bad that the lower half of Savannah's face was cut off, because it looks like she smiled right after Kevin said that, and it would have been a really great shot. Sucks to be you, 7th Heaven crew! "But I also love her mother, who's also my wife," Kevin continues. Apparently that made sense to RevCam, who gets all awkward and stammers out that he has something to do somewhere else in the house, where he won't have weird conversations with Kevin.

RevCam goes downstairs and Lucy comes upstairs. She grabs Savannah, saying it's time for her dinner. Kevin says he's looking forward to when Savannah is on the bottle, so he can feed her, too. "Is that what's wrong with you, Mr. Crabby? Wanna feed the baby?" Lucy asks. Well...yes. Metaphorically. Kevin says that's "part of it." Lucy asks what the rest is. Kevin grabs her arm and pulls her into their room, apparently so that their conversation will have privacy, although he doesn't close the door behind him. He starts by apologizing to Lucy for snapping at her, but he misses "being intimate" with her. "And by intimate, I guess you mean...?" says Lucy. Are you kidding me? Even Savannah knows what Kevin is talking about, as she squirms in an effort to get the hell out of there, so as to not have to listen to her parents talk about the frequency of their sexual encounters. Lucy accuses Kevin of trying to "trick her" into having sex with him with the invitation to look at real estate listings. Yes, real estate listings, the language of romance, what with the "2 BR" this and "lrg ktch" that. Lucy says she's doing the best she can: "I'm a new mother, and I know it's not more important than being a wife." Hold on -- WHAT?! Did this show just say that satisfying your husband's carnal desires is more important than taking care of your completely helpless baby? Kevin says he wasn't trying to "trick" Lucy, he just wanted them to "be close."

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7th Heaven




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