After the commercial break, Simon and Asslee are getting ready to bring the twins home, but Kevin stops them. He signals Bobby to play "Happy Birthday To You," as someone wheels out a giant cake in the shape of a pirate in a treasure chest. It's kind of a scary-looking pirate too. You can tell he's thinking, "Aye, bend over, matey, and I'll show you where I bury my treasure." I guess Kevin's creep-o-meter doesn't work quite as well as it might if he were, say, a human. Ma Kinkirk proves that she's just as lame as any Camden when she turns to her son and says, "So, Ben, in all of Glenoak, there's no one for you to share Valentine's Day with?" Jesus, Brenda, get a grip. As far as I can tell, the world doesn't grind to a halt if someone has to spend Valentine's Day without a date. But just in case, the twins have come up with a potential date for Ben anyway: Peter's mother. I hate this goddamn show.
Over dinner, Roxanne tells Chandler about her run-in with Lucy earlier. She's extremely curious as to why Lucy and the T-1000 are here. RevBong wisely asks, "Does it matter?" Roxanne seems to think it does, although her reasoning is a little convoluted. She says that she saw Chandler proposing to his mirror earlier and admits that if he proposes to her, she will say yes. However, she suspects that Kevin may be proposing to Lucy tonight, so she'd rather Chandler propose to her another night. And get this -- she's doing it all for Lucy's sake. Okay, if a good show like Friends couldn't make the whole "steal your thunder" bit into a good plotline, what chance does Brenda have? That has to be one of the most puerile concepts ever. What difference should it make to Lucy if someone else gets engaged on the same night she does? And if Chandler's already pretty much admitted he's going to propose to Roxanne, and she's told him she will accept, isn't the actual proposal going to be quite the anticlimax? I can't think about this anymore or my head will explode.
Back at the CamPound, Peter rushes off to call his mother. God, I hope they've given up on that ridiculous idea of setting her up with Ben. Apparently, no idea is too stupid for this show, though. Peter tells his mother that he and Ruthie have a VD gift for her: "It's Kevin's brother." I sure hope they're going to gussy him up a bit for the occasion -- you know, dress him in some edible underwear in honor of the holiday, or make him jump out of a pirate cake. Peter's mother hangs up on him. I hope it's because she's revolted by the idea rather than hurriedly rushing to the CamPound before some other single woman snatches up the prize.