7th Heaven
I Love Lucy

Episode Report Card
Cate: F | Grade It Now!
I Love Lucy

RevCam and Annie are snuggling in their hotel bed. It doesn't look like there was much hot sex, unless the CamRents like to do it fully clothed. They're discussing Lucy's engagement, which is not exactly the sexiest topic either. People, what point is there to renting a hotel room if you're not going to get it on? Annie starts to mention that Lucy is going to want RevCam to perform the wedding ceremony, but he doesn't want to think about it right now. Yeah, there's plenty of time for that boring plotline to ruin another episode or two. Now it's time for some painful, closed-mouthed kisses. Aw! Happy VD, everyone.

Simon is following through on his threat to spend the evening telling Asslee how scrumptious she is. I can't quite bring myself to even pretend to believe that she is "kind" or "sweet." Asslee's reasons for loving Simon are some of the shallowest and stupidest I've ever heard. She says some crap about how she likes holding his hand and dancing with him. Romantic? And how!

Peter is asleep on the living room couch. If he knew how many people have made out on that couch, would he still feel comfortable sleeping there? His mother and Ben are watching him sleep. Paris is trying to decide whether to wake him up when Ruthie comes in and says she will do the honors. She kisses him somewhere in the vicinity of his chin. It does wake him up, though, and he seems unaccountably thrilled even by such a lame kiss. Ruthie leaves the room, and Peter follows, leaving the exciting new couple alone in the living room.

Except it seems they're not destined to become a couple after all. Even though they have been, as Ben puts it, "making out in the kitchen for hours," Paris thinks Ben is too young. She thanks him for swapping spit with her and then leaves. At least she's polite.

While driving Roxanne home, Chandler pulls over and pretends that the car is out of gas. It's all a ruse to get Roxanne to kiss him. Watching these two going at it is not my idea of a good time.

Back at the CamPound, Ma Kinkirk is on the phone with her fiancé. I assume it's not a local call, so that's actually kind of rude of her not to use her own cell phone. It sounds like the fiancé is trying to make her tell Kevin about her impending nuptials. Ma promises to tell Kevin tonight. I have no idea why it can't wait until morning -- or, indeed, why the fiancé is making such a big deal out of it anyway. He sounds like kind of a jerk. But then, the Kinkirks are used to marrying jerks, it seems.

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7th Heaven




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