7th Heaven
I Really Did

Episode Report Card
Cate: D+ | Grade It Now!
I Really Did

Did I mention that Stephen Collins is directing this episode? No? Well, he is, and he's using the opportunity to showcase his "wacky" side. RevCam is shouting at Dopey for being "irresponsible" and a "hormonal freak." Okay, that's kind of funny, except that Dopey's not anywhere in the scene. RevCam's just shouting at his own image in the mirror while shaving. At least, I think he's shaving. It's entirely possible that he's foaming at the mouth and the foam just spread across his face. Annie knocks on the door and tries to get him to calm down. It's kind of sad that Catherine Hicks always looks like she's about three seconds away from going postal, even when she's doing her best to be the voice of reason.

Lucy and Mary are panicking profusely as they search for Ruthie in the garage. It's not a pretty picture, and it makes me wonder just how much Brenda Hampton actually hates women. I suppose Stephen Collins has to bear some of the blame, too, for making these girls look like the most annoying fuckwits ever to grace the planet. By the way, the wardrobe department has really outdone itself with Mary's sweater. It's the ugliest piece of clothing I have ever seen, and considering that I was alive during the seventies, that's really saying something. When Lucy points out that Ruthie's bike is missing, Mary suggests that she and Lucy hop on bikes themselves and go searching for their sister. Great plan! Oh, no, one of the bikes has a flat! Quick, Mary, help Lucy find the tire patching stuff! I love that this entire scene is played out as if there were some incredible emergency unfolding and only Lucy and Mary can save the day by riding for help. Everyone seems to be forgetting that the only thing at stake here is that two gossipy losers want to pry into their brother's love life. That's it in total. When Mary remembers that she has a car and realizes that she and Lucy can utilize that car to stalk Ruthie, it's probably supposed to be humorous. However, I'm cringing too hard at the way these flighty women are portrayed to even consider laughing. Of course, in order for this scene to make me laugh, there would probably have to be something funny happening onscreen, and that's obviously not the case here.

Remember how I was saying that Simon seemed a little cooler than the rest of the family because he isn't in a tizzy over Dopey's marital status? Well, I was wrong. He's just as lame as everyone else, and he proves it in the CamKitchen by asking his mother if he can stay home from school, "just in case things get interesting around here." Since I can't remember anything truly interesting happening to the Camdens since, well, ever, Simon might have to drop out of school permanently and devote the rest of his life to waiting. To her credit, Annie nixes his stupid idea of staying home. Robbie comes down to the CamKitchen and tries to reassure Annie by saying, "Don't worry. Regular guys stay out all night all the time. It doesn't mean anything." Never having been a "regular guy," I can't really comment on the veracity of that statement, but Robbie's implication that Dopey is not normal amuses me greatly. Robbie cracks me up by saying, "He probably wasn't even having…you know." He then endears himself to me further by condescendingly adding, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that in front of the children." Simon whacks him in the shoulder for that.

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7th Heaven




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