In the kitchen, Dopey goes to the fridge and gets a bottle of water. The Camdens are always crying poor, yet they buy expensive bottled water? Why can't they just get a Brita filter like the rest of us poor folks? Dopey drinks his water while Mary and Lucy stare at him. Finally, he uncomfortably says, "What?" Mary asks, "Could we borrow your Brides magazine?" She and Lucy break out into the fakest laughter I've ever heard. Dopey stares them down before saying, "You could, but why would you need to?" He leaves, fake-laughing himself, but when he does it, it's actually funny. The girls look crestfallen, which fills me with disgust. They start speculating on whether Dopey will be married before he gets out of medical school, and Mary demonstrates her stupidity once again by saying, "It's not likely." Mary, that's absurd. Why, he'll be in his late twenties by then! Come to think of it, you better hurry up and get a husband yourself. After all, you're twenty already, and what self-respecting woman isn't married by the age of twenty? Come on! You're just not trying hard enough.
Dopey's in the backyard, taking out a loan from the Bank of Simon. He's a little chagrined because Simon has evidently just dispensed fifty one-dollar bills. Matt must think he'll look like a loser when he goes to pay for his date, as if the hair and the outfit and the personality -- and let's not forget the gold medallion -- wouldn't already have given that away. He complains that he doesn't have time to stop by the ATM, yet he has time to sit around and shoot the breeze with Simon? All right, whatever. After some prodding, Simon comes up with a couple of twenties. When Dopey walks off with all the money, Simon shouts after him, "You plan to spend ninety bucks on some chick you've never even gone out with before?" Relax, Simon. He's probably just planning to take her to a movie and buy her a small popcorn and some Milk Duds. That might be a close call with only ninety dollars, though. He might have to check in at the ATM after all. Oh, but Simon? I'm allowed to call woman "chicks." I'm not sure how I feel about you doing it. Simon adds, "You better marry her!" Har dee har har. Yes, he's been gossiping with other family members about Dopey and his Brides magazine, but since that's par for the course on this show, it hardly seems worth mentioning. We learn that Dopey picked up the magazine from the waiting room of the clinic instead of actually buying it. Does that make me respect him any more? What do you think?