7th Heaven
I Really Do

Episode Report Card
Cate: F | 1 USERS: A+
I Really Don't

Oh, but then we'd miss out on all the witty repartee. The mystery orderly runs into Dopey in the hall later and asks him if he's serious about finding a wife. When he says that he is, she still doesn't snicker at him. She asks what he's looking for in a wife. He replies, "I'm looking for someone who can understand the demands of medical school." Oh, good -- if he finds that woman, maybe she'll be able to explain it to him. It may take her a while, though, and she'd better be prepared to draw a bunch of diagrams to help him understand better. Dopey continues with his list of requirements, all predictable, and then asks the woman what she's looking for in a husband. She very sensibly asks, "What makes you think I'm looking for a husband?" Dopey looks taken aback. After all, this is Glenoak, and the woman is obviously over the age of eighteen. He asks, "Isn't everyone looking for someone?" Mystery Orderly says no, which gives me some respect for her. That's shattered pretty quickly, though, as she immediately goes on to list off the qualities she'd like in a husband. Why, they're identical -- I mean word for word -- to what Dopey wants in a wife! Maybe she's an idiot savant too, and her talent is parroting what other people say. It turns out that Dopey had been quoting from the Brides magazine, and this woman has called him on it. Now, that's just weird. I'm so put off by the entire idea of people memorizing quotes from dumb-asses in a bridal magazine that I don't even laugh when she asks if Dopey took the magazine home with him. Oh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't have laughed anyway.

The director uses a not-so-special camera effect to show us that it is a little bit later in the same hallway of the clinic. I keep noticing the poster advertising Zofron, an anti-nausea drug, in the background. Please feel free to supply your own easy joke here. Dopey and his future wife (come on, we all know where this is headed) exchange some more appallingly sophomoric dialogue about why Dopey doesn't have a girlfriend. When she suggests that he may not be able to make a commitment, Matt defensively replies that he's "committed." To what, exactly? "To finding the right woman." Smooth answer, Dopey. Yeah, that's right, smooth as can be.

This still hasn't scared her off, though. After some more lame camera trickery, we see Dopey in an exam room, cleaning off a table. Hmm -- I'm a little surprised, since I would have expected him to be doing something like going through the hamper and sniffing the discarded exam gowns. Oh, well. The mystery woman keeps coming in to the room to ask him more personal questions, like how many children he wants. I don't care how hard the music works to indicate that this scene is humorous, and I don't care how winsomely Barry Watson smiles. This shit still isn't funny.

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7th Heaven




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