7th Heaven
I Really Do

Episode Report Card
Cate: F | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
I Really Don't

Back in the CamBoudoir, Brenda throws the CamRents a couple of token lines, but they all have to do with being worried about the Dopester. Annie suggests that RevCam go stalk Matt, but RevCam's too tired. Wow, I've never known him to turn down a stalking op before.

Remember those delightful scenes before, where every member of the family was saying "he wouldn't"? Well, this now gets repeated, with Lucy and Robbie saying, "Where would we look for him?" It's a terrible premise and a terrible line, and the terrible acting ensures that this comes off as some of the hokiest primetime television ever.

Ruthie performs a "middle of the show -- damn, I'm tired of thinking up crappy dialogue" timewaster by waking up and going downstairs to look at the twins while they sleep. Yes, it's as exciting as it sounds. Then she throws open the door to the Hello Kitty room, where she catches Dopey taking off his pants. He shrieks with modesty and falls over. This brings the rest of the CamFam running to ask, "Where have you been?!" The gimmick of having them all say it in unison turns this scene into comic gold! Dopey tells them about being out with Plot Contrivance, and promises them that they can meet her tomorrow night. Ruthie asks the obvious question I always like to ask my friends after they've been out on a first date: "Are you gonna marry her?" When Dopey says, "I might," everyone looks at each other in consternation, giving this scene the look and feel of a junior high school drama production -- one with exceptionally untalented participants.

Ah, it's finally time for Richard Lewis's guest appearance as Plot Contrivance's father. You know, I've never liked him much, and I don't expect that tonight is gonna turn all that around. Sure enough, he's already annoying me by his second line. Evidently, he had to rush to this shoot from the dentist's office and didn't leave adequate time for the Novocain to wear off. But that's okay, because that whole look complements the Botox he must have had injected all over the rest of his face the week before. He asks why Dopey is looking for a wife outside of his faith. Dopey babbles some nonsense about how he's not necessarily looking outside his faith, and shouldn't the most important thing be that he has faith? Rabbi Richard doesn't agree. He's just about to explain why Plot Contrivance can't marry anyone who's not Jewish, but he's interrupted by the arrival of the little bridal magazine aficionada herself, who admonishes her father to be polite to her friend. Rabbi Richard points out that Dopey is more than a friend, which is just stupid, since PC just met him last night. That hardly even makes him a friend, does it? Not in my book, anyway.

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7th Heaven

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