7th Heaven
In The Blink Of An Eye

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In The Blink Of An Eye

The CamKitchen is the site of much domestic boringness, as SuperMom dishes out breakfast to the clan. And it ain't pretty. Annie's wearing a white T-shirt and something that looks like a maternity jumper, in a pattern which could have been drawn with crayons by Ruthie. SuperMom still has her poodle haircut. Man, why would anyone would want to do that to hair? There's Mary, wearing some floppy white bellbottoms and a striped shirt that she must have dug out from the very bottom of the family ragbag -- the section of the bag that holds the clothes that were put out of their misery when 1980 rolled around. Lucy's ensemble isn't particularly retro; in fact, it was never in style. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you have to admire Matt's spirit. While he's not part of the two percent of the population who can wear the colour orange successfully, that's not going to stop him from trying. He's topped the eyesore of a T-shirt with a plaid flannel shirt in an attempt to achieve the grunge look, which, as you'll recall, was so super-fresh back in 1996. Ah, but all these outfits pale in comparison to Ruthie's special look. Yes, it's a sailor top, and while I didn't think this could be possible, the shirt in question is even uglier than Annie's infamous sailor top. Much uglier. So ugly that it deserves a mercy killing. What is wrong with these people, anyway? It's not like 1996 was a bad fashion year, but you'd never know it from looking at this crew.

I'm not sure why Annie tells that the kids not to put too much sugar on their cold breakfast cereal. It looks like the cereal is Kellogg's Corn Puffs. Isn't that stuff made entirely of sugar anyway? It sure would explain the general Camden perkiness. Case in point: Simon is absolutely thrilled to find the lucky surprise in his cereal bowl. It's a package of "moon rocks," and he's just a little too excited about it. Annie uses that as a lead-in to the CamRents' big announcement. They have decided to buy Simon the bunk beds he has long wanted for his room. Woo! Let's crack open a bottle of Sunny D in celebration, shall we? Simon pays dearly, though, for the coveted bunk beds. He learns that he must share his room with the odious Ruthie while Annie's parents are in town. Inexplicably, Ruthie is thrilled about this, and she gives Simon a kiss. He wipes his face in disgust, which should be funny but isn't.

Fortunately, it was obvious this time when the opening credits were going to start, so I was able to hit the fast-forward button in time to escape them. I hate when the theme song gets stuck in my head.

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7th Heaven




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