7th Heaven
In The Blink Of An Eye

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Cate: D+ | Grade It Now!
In The Blink Of An Eye

At school, Mary informs Jeff that she wants to postpone their date until Saturday and explains the Lucy situation, adding, "It's a sister thing." She tells him about her plan to see Striptease. Jeff gets all pissy and informs her that he's already seen Striptease -- with Matt. Okay, for real, that was the third funny joke of the episode. Like Dopey would ever see an R-rated movie, even though he's legally entitled to. For once, it's good to see Mary storm off, because at least she's not giving in to troglodyte Jeff.

RevCam is unpacking groceries. There's an alarming number of snack foods ending in "-itos." What's even scarier, however, is a close-up of the cereal box from breakfast, which turns out not to be Kellogg's Corn Pops after all. No, you see, they've made the box look like the Corn Pops box, but this cereal is actually called either "Hampton's Fearless Pops" or "Hampton's Flabless Pops" -- it's a little hard to tell which, especially because neither version makes any sense or is even remotely funny. Do I realize that the producer of the show is Brenda Hampton? Yes. Does that make the joke any funnier? No. No, it does not. And why would these people elect to fashion a fake, unfunny, product when they could get the product placement dollars for the genuine article? They already mentioned another Kellogg's product, Pop-Tarts, earlier, so why -- oh, never mind. Thinking about this makes my head hurt. I don't suppose Kellogg's manufactures any painkillers, do they? Anyway, watching RevCam putting away groceries is about as exciting as you'd expect it to be, especially when he starts looking around like he's forgotten something. It turns out he's forgotten Ruthie in the minivan. Oh, har dee har har. What a fucking laff riot. Let's move on, okay?

In another tragic waste of film stock, Dopey is in the station wagon, making out with what looks like a Playboy model in her later twenties. But I'd imagine we're supposed to buy that she's a high school student. Okay, whatever. Mary comes along, and Dopey's ho gets out of the car. Dopey tells her he'll pick her up after work. She leaves. Mary asks how he'll be picking her up, since he's not allowed to take the car anywhere except the library and school. I'm sure this burning question is keeping many a viewer awake at night.

Oh, gross! I thought when they had Annie taking off to Arizona, they'd spare us the details, but Fate is being a bitch today. We see an establishing shot of the airport. I can tell you that it's in Phoenix, on the off chance that you'd care. Annie is on the phone waiting for her parents to pick up the line, but they don't, and she eventually gives up.

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7th Heaven




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