Simon and Ruthie interact briefly, but there's not enough vodka in the world to induce me to tell you about it.
Ruthie leaves, and Matt comes into the room. He tries to make Simon see the bright side of sharing a room with Ruthie, claiming that because Simon is older than Ruthie, he is "top dog" now. When asked to explain this cryptic statement, Dopey says, "You can make Ruthie do anything you want." Dude, that's awesome! Okay, now make her disappear forever and ever, please. What do you mean you can't do that? Way to build my hopes up and then dash them cruelly. Jeez.
When Ruthie comes back into the room, Simon tells her to get his backpack from downstairs. When she says she's busy, he makes up some bullshit about it being before five o'clock, and since she is five years old, "everything before five o'clock is [her] responsibility." Ruthie falls for this. Heh -- that was funny, but not as funny as the time my cousin Paul and I were playing Monopoly and my baby sister wanted to play too. Since we were obnoxious brats, Paul and I took total advantage of her by making up all sorts of arbitrary rules that applied only to her -- like letting her buy "Go," which meant that every time she passed it, she had to pay us two hundred dollars apiece. But that was a few years ago, okay? I'm a better person since I started watching 7th Heaven, and now my sister is one of my closest friends. In fact, if I watch much more of this show, I may even have to start stalking her, since, apparently, that's what wholesome, role-model-y people are supposed to do to family members.
Lucy says that clearing her throat is the secret signal she will use when it's time for Mary to distract RevCam. Mary scornfully insists that she will know when to get RevCam out of the room, since she "wasn't raised by wolves." I can't help but wonder if she would have turned out better if she had been raised by wolves. Lucy claims to be nervous about being kissed, but she's pretty excited, too. Or at least that's what I gather from her disjointed, "His lips, my lips, sparks, passion." Ew, with Jimmy Moon? But he can barely even move his lips, even when the scene calls for emotion. Mary's playing the superior older sister by insisting that Lucy is too young to get kissed. Like it's any of her damn business. Ruthie comes in and repeats the gibberish Simon told her about being "responsible for everything before five o'clock." Mary tries to set her straight by explaining that she's "not Simon's personal valet." Ruthie receives this news with the same blank facial expression she wears whenever she's not being saccharinely cutesy. Then she says, "Okay," and trots off down the hall, where a huge, gaping hole opens up in the floor, and she falls into a bottomless pit, never to be heard from again. Well, at least that's what would happen if I were writing the script, dammit.