Back at the Camden Compound, Annie is yelling at someone on the phone to keep paging Hank and RevCam. You know, because maybe they didn't hear the first twenty pages but will magically respond to the twenty-first. There's more hilarity hijinx (tm gwen) as Annie informs Julie that Eric has forgotten his pager and that there is no car at the house with which to drive Julie to the hospital. Julie says she's not worried about the labour, but she is worried about what people will think when they find out she doesn't know where Hank is. Annie unhelpfully offers up her opinion that "a little embarrassment might be okay, you know, considering the circumstances, hmm?" Like far too much of the dialogue in the show, this makes no sense to me. Does Annie mean that Julie should be embarrassed for getting pregnant out of wedlock? Would I understand the dialogue better if I matched the 7th Heaven target demographic more? Why wasn't this show cancelled eons ago? Do I have enough change to do a load of laundry? Oops, sorry, my attention was wandering to more interesting topics again, and I almost missed Julie saying that she's feeling better and that it was all a false alarm. She's trying to get Annie to go to the movies with her when she's hit with another contraction that makes her double over in pain and start invoking Hank's mythical supermodel again. Annie tells her that when Mary and Simon come back with the car, Annie will take her to the hospital.
Back at the restaurant, Simon is saying, "And I don't like to brag, but it was really my quick thinking that saved the day." "Wow," says Diane. Mary adds a sarcastic, "Yeah, wow!" which might have been funnier if I wasn't so grossed out by the fact that she's chewing food while she says it. Diane leaves but promises to return (can't wait!). Mary expresses her annoyance that she feels like she's "chaperoning a date." Simon argues that Diane is not interested in him, and Mary asks him, "Are you blind as well as boring?" Okay, that was a pretty funny line. Diane returns to engage Simon in a game of pool. At the pool table, she does a very convincing impression of a stupid girl, asking, "Simon, am I holding this stick-thingy right?" No one could accuse this show of subtlety. Simon, studly dude that he is, sidles up to her and helps her out. He's leaning over her and helping her hold the pool cue when in walk Deena and her father. Simon is flustered enough to introduce Diane as his girlfriend. This stuff is comic gold! Simon corrects his mistake, and Diane says she didn't know he had a girlfriend. She pets Simon's chin and says she'll leave her number with Mary, in case he wants to call. Okay, now that's not odd or creepy or anything. I suppose it fits in with the rest of Diane's characterization as a sexually predatory female who's brassy enough to show interest in a boy instead of waiting for him to act first. I daresay she'll get her comeuppance one day!