We get to see the hospital corridor again and listen to some more paging of Hank and RevCam. That joke had better be good!
Then it's on to the health-food restaurant, where Hank says he's forgotten both his beeper and his wallet. RevCam says he'll pay for dinner. In return for dinner, though, Hank and Dopey have to listen to RevCam's trite advice, ending in, "...with pregnancy, you're truly in the grip of something greater than yourself, and the best you can do is just love your wife and buy a lot of ice cream." Dopey nods sagely, even though this has nothing to do with him. Hank asks RevCam, "You're loving this, aren't you?" RevCam says, "Just a little." Well, that makes one of us. Dopey gets all carried away with the male bonding and starts talking about looking forward to having a baby with Shana. Hank expresses surprise that Dopey and Shana are that serious about each other. Dopey backpedals and says he's not having a baby with Shana, he just wants to. Then he leaves, for which I am profoundly grateful. Hank and RevCam look questioningly at each for a bit, RevCam shakes his head and says "no" a couple of times, and I'm not entirely sure what this scene is supposed to mean. But then, I've stopped caring anyway.
They're still setting up their big joke with the paging at the hospital, but it's finally time for the pay-off. Ready? Someone offers the nurse twenty bucks if she'll stop with the paging. Ba-dum-boom, chih!
Julie's resting on the living room couch when Ruthie comes in and pokes her, hard. Jeez Louise, have some sympathy, you little troll! Ruthie heard yelling before and wants to know if Julie's gonna have her baby. Julie says, "Maybe." Ruthie thinks that's "excellent," and she drags the poor kitty out of her knapsack to show Julie. She explains that she doesn't want anyone to know she's got the cat, so she says, "When you scream, if you yell 'meowch' instead of 'ouch' whenever my kitten meows, then everyone will think it's you. Let's practice." The actress who plays Julie does an excellent job of pretending this dialogue is charming rather than thoroughly, utterly, completely puke-inducing, and I think there should be a special new Emmy category invented for actors who are able to make it through a scene like this without hurling all over Ruthie. As for me, I find it necessary to lie quietly in a dark room for about fifty hours with a cold compress on my forehead before I am able to continue with the recap.
I almost suffer a relapse during this next scene with Simon and Deena. They're still in the restaurant, and Simon's trying to convince Deena that he wasn't doing anything wrong by draping himself all over Diane at the pool table. Deena, who's decked out in an orange T-shirt with a fugly heart cutout on the chest, says, "If being caught making out wasn't bad enough, now because of that girl, my father thinks you're some sort of middle-school Romeo." I don't even bother trying to suspend my disbelief because I am way too busy laughing.
Mary is chatting it up with Deena's dad at another table. He's asking her if she has a boyfriend, and when he finds out she doesn't, he praises her for being smart enough to know she's too young to date. Mary says, "I'm only single right now because my last serious boyfriend moved away with his son to go to college out of state." Whatever that's about, I don't even want to know. We're saved from hearing her blab on any more about it when some restaurant guy pages Hank and RevCam for a telephone call, which Mary takes instead. It's Annie, who tells her to hurry home since Julie's in labour. Mary suggests that the hospital might be a good place for Julie to be right about now. Annie asks how she's supposed to get Julie there without a car. I don't know, Annie, while you were busy calling every restaurant in town, did you consider phoning for a little something I like to call a "taxicab?" They're a great invention, you know. If Glenoak has restaurants (and its very own supermodel), I'd find it very hard to believe they didn't have a single cab company. But I guess that's just the kind of writing that makes 7th Heaven the top-rated show it is.