7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: F | Grade It Now!

RevCam pays a visit to Simon's room, offering to assist him in his studies. Simon behaves rudely to him, and RevCam just takes it. Lovely. Simon suggests that Eric play pool with Dopey. Inexplicably, RevCam considers that a good suggestion. But Eric's really not having much luck today; even Dopey won't go out with him. Now, that's just sad. Bet you can't guess what Matt does in this scene. Does he dance a jig? Does he discover the cure for cancer? No, he just complains about Robbie for a bit. Honestly, for me, after all this time, Dopey's complaining has sort of blended together into a no-plot-having blur, but I think this time his troubles have something to do with Robbie "stealing" his best friend.

After Matt kicks RevCam out of his room, the ever-sensitive Eric goes to Lucy's room and tries to make her talk about her problems. She has already talked it out with Ruthie and doesn't need Eric's help. When the phone rings, she leaps for it. Finding out it's Mike calling, she shoos Eric away. Mike offers to fix her up in return for a favour. I'm hoping the favour he requests will be acting lessons, since that monotone thing he's doing really isn't working. Nor is the fact that it looks like he's reading a TelePrompTer. That's worse, actually, because I don't think they even use TelePrompTers when taping dramas. It turns out the favour Mike wants is that Lucy fix him up with someone named Elaina Casey. Lucy says she doesn't know Elaina. She motions for Ruthie to come over to her, and Ruthie violently shakes her head and mouths the word "no." Am I missing something? Does this have anything to do with the scene going on? No? So I can feel free to ignore it? Okay, good. Mike offers to give Lucy's number and address to his friend. He points out that this guy friend also comes from a big family, like the Camdens. I wonder if he's a creepy stalker, too, like Eric and Dopey. In that case, giving out Lucy's address might not be such a grand idea. Lucy reluctantly agrees to talk to Elaina for Mike. Wow, it's like stepping into your time machine and setting it for junior high! RevCam comes back in. Apparently, he's been lurking just outside the room, listening to Lucy's side of the conversation. He says, "You can always tell what someone really thinks of you by who they fix you up with." Huh. That was incredibly stupid, even for RevCam. No wonder Lucy and Ruthie treat him so patronizingly when they toss him out of the room. Ruthie brings over Lucy's yearbook and shows her Elaina's picture. Is that what Lucy was motioning about before? And Ruthie understood her? Weird. Ruthie asks what's wrong with Elaina's face. Lucy replies that it's acne. Does anyone else foresee a PSA in the near future?

Oh, look -- it's some filler, starring Annie and the twins. And then there's some more filler involving RevCam and SuperMom. He's upset because he feels the kids don't need him anymore, and she's still upset over that asinine "Mama" thing. Wait, it gets worse. She turns it all into a political issue by claiming that her return to school has kept her out of the house too much, which makes her a "bad mama." Well, fuck me, even I never thought the show would sink this low. Instead of Eric telling Annie she's full of shit, he looks all worried and hugs her, totally reinforcing her delusional, reactionary views. I hope there aren't any women out there dumb enough to use Annie as a role model. The possibility that even a single person might take this scene seriously makes me completely sad.

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7th Heaven




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