With Paris gone, Kevin and Lucy can now share a scene. Kevin wonders if they can arrange their work schedules like Paris and Vic did. He can work the night shift while Lucy associate-pastors all day. Walking the Promenade beat at night? That's a death sentence, Kevin! Please do it. It would seem that after a week of regular sex with Lucy, Kevin finally came to his senses and realized how much better off he was without it, because that work schedule doesn't allow them to have very much time together. Lucy scoffs that she doesn't see Kevin as a "stay-at-home dad." Except that he wouldn't be, since he'd be working, but whatever, Lucy. Kevin says he could do it, and wants a "trial run" tomorrow so he can show Lucy his mad baby-parenting skillz.
Simon enters the garage apartment just as Martin's putting on his coat to leave. Martin immediately takes his coat off and lies that he was just getting back from somewhere. Simon, being a man of the world, knows what's up. He asks Martin if he can sleep on the garage apartment couch so he won't have to be around his horrible family and can have some privacy for the phone call he's expecting. Martin points out that Simon won't have that much privacy since he's sharing the space with Martin. Simon says that Martin was clearly on his way out the door when he arrived, so it looks like he'll have the apartment to himself for a little while. Martin gets all defensive and says he was going out for a homework assignment. Simon just laughs and says he won't tell anyone anything, but warns Martin to "be careful," because Simon knows what the harsh world out there is really like. He's seen things you wouldn't imagine. Martin takes Simon's advice to heart by forgetting to pack his cell phone.
And now it's time for Simon's desperate and touching plea to God: "God, um if everything's okay, if I turn out okay, then I promise I won't ever have sex again until after I'm married. And I promise I'll start going to church again, and I promise that I'll just try to be a better Christian." Basically, he's offering church attendance for a healthy wang. Oh, chill out, Simon. Almost all STDs are curable, most easily so. I'm sure it's not fun, but there's no need to worry so much. As for the incurable STDS, I did some research, and blood tests for herpes cannot be performed until twelve to sixteen weeks after exposure, as is the case with HIV, where the CDC recommends waiting six months. So Simon's mystery STD has to be a curable one, this is ridiculous, and I'm going to clear out my saved form information before someone does an internet search on my computer and sees that I've been very curious about HIV and herpes transmission lately.