3:00 AM. How can so much time have elapsed when so little has actually been said? Annie tells Lucy that Lucy needs to have a "plan" about sex, and obviously, Annie would prefer that Lucy's plan be to wait until marriage. Lucy says that's fine, but "is there something in between that? You know, more than kissing, less than having sex?" Annie's facial expression at this would be appropriate if she just found out that the world was ending. For her daughter asking about second and third base? A little much. Oh, and Lucy: you're fifteen and you go to public school. Surely you have some idea of what's in between kissing and sex. Come on now.
6:00 AM. Annie and RevCam are sleeping on the couch, Lucy is sleeping in a chair, and Mary is sprawled out on the floor. I guess all that talk about sex was so exhausting that they couldn't travail the relatively short distance to their real beds. And was Matt taping his family sleeping this whole time? This episode just gets weirder and weirder. Simon and Ruthie walk in, up earlier than any children their age realistically would. Simon tells Ruthie, "Kids shouldn't be taking care of kids; I'm too young." Theme anvils successfully dropped, Simon leaves the room. Ruthie wakes up her parents and asks them where babies come from. Then, in a show of spectacular special effects that has not been seen since Pleasantville, the scene changes to color. The CamRents pull Ruthie onto their laps and start to explain. If it were me, and my kid woke me up at 6 in the morning after less than three hours of sleep, the reaction would have been much, much different.
Matt turns off the tape, which was playing on the TV. Lucy asks him why he left the answers out of the video. "Because not everyone would answer the questions the same," Matt replies. That's a nice cop-out answer there, Mr. Did-The- Project-At- The-Last-Minute- And-So-Didn't- Have-Enough- Time-to-Edit. Mary asks him what he's calling the video, and he says the title is "The Nineteen-Year Talk." How appropriate -- that talk certainly seemed like it lasted nineteen years to me. Matt walks away, and Mary says, "You know, there are a few things I'd like to ask him." "Me too!" Lucy says. They run to catch Matt so they can hear everything he knows about sex. That should take about five seconds, including travel time.