7th Heaven
Let's Talk About Sex

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
Let's Not, and Say We Did

And now we're at the "Dairy Shack," where Lucy and Jordan are greeted by a way-too-friendly counterguy named Arnold, who Lucy knows because he just joined the church. Arnold asks Jordan if he wants his order for here or to go. Jordan says "for here," but Lucy says, "Make it to go," suggesting to Jordan that they eat in his car. While it's parked at "MacArthur's Point." Yes, Lucy, what more romantic way to lose your virginity than in your boyfriend's mom's car after eating greasy food. What a special time it will be for you. Jordan says that the CamRents would not approve of a trip to "MacArthur's Point," and Arnold agrees. Lucy spins around and tells him to shut up. Oh, what's the matter, Lucy? It's not so fun when other people are listening to your private conversations instead of the other way around, is it? Maybe you can learn a valuable lesson from this. You won't, of course, but you could. Jordan and Lucy argue back and forth about where to eat their dinner until he finally agrees to get the food to go. Lucy tells Arnold to shut up again. I'll bet being treated like this by the pastor's daughter makes Arnold feel really glad he chose RevCam's church.

In the CamPound, the Soprano Saxophone of Merriment blares as Ruthie rollerblades all over the hardwood floors. I am less than pleased to report that she is wearing a helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads. Simon chases after Ruthie, begging her to rollerblade on the carpet instead of the floor because she's leaving marks on the wood. Right, because black smears on the carpet are so much easier to clean. Ruthie says that she will not skate on the carpet, so Simon begs her to think of something else to do. Ruthie suggests jumping rope in the front hallway. With one end of the rope tied to the staircase banister. Simon agrees, and sends Ruthie off to get the jump rope while he tries to move a table that is blocking the proposed jump rope area. I never noticed a large, circular, oak table in the middle of the foyer before. That's probably it's only here now for plot-furthering purposes. Or should I say, "plot"-furthering purposes, since I'm pretty sure that this is too stupid to be considered an actual plot. Poor Simon's not having much luck moving the heavy table. I attribute this to the fact that he's pushing it at a downward angle, thus creating a greater force of inertia for him to have to overcome. He may want to consider pushing forward and at a slightly upward angle. It would probably also help if he were to take some of the heavy items off the table first. Matt comes downstairs, and Simon asks him for help. Matt says he "can't stop" because he's "really into this project and [he doesn't] want to lose [his] train of thought." As Matt walks off into the kitchen, Simon remarks that he bets those trains "don't come around too often." I'd say it's more like "never," but let's not split oily hairs. Ruthie comes back downstairs, rope in hand, and Simon is sad to inform her that they have to change their plans because he can't move the table. "Maybe I can read a book to you in your room," Simon suggests hopefully. Ruthie says she would rather play cops and robbers. After ascertaining that Ruthie does not intend to use handcuffs for the game (I can't help but feel that I dodged a serious bullet there), Simon agrees. Ruthie smiles evilly and says that "this rope might come in handy." You know, even though Simon was kind of an ass earlier in the show, I feel genuinely sorry for him now.

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7th Heaven




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