At Eddie's "Come for the Dinner" Pool Hall, RevCam is helping Babs's boyfriend Sam fill out a job application. Sam looks like he's spent more time in a print ad than in a jail cell, but that's okay. I enjoy eye candy. He's currently complaining, in a sexy gravelly voice, that he has to fill out so many forms for a job he isn't even guaranteed to get. RevCam says that the Eddie and the Pool Hall crew know all about how he served time for "possession of crack cocaine," and want to give him a second chance. Well, that's very charitable of Eddie's Pool Hall, if slightly ill-advised. Sam then reveals that he doesn't know how to read. RevCam is taken aback, but assures him that the illiteracy thing is no problem -- RevCam can fill out the applications for Sam after the interview, which will be conducted by RevCam as opposed to a pool-hall staff member. And Eddie's Pool Hall goes from "slightly ill-advised" to "completely stupid" in one fell swoop. Sam tells Eric that he needs this job so that he can get his own place and marry Babs, because she said that she would only marry him if he got a job. Sam says he wants to "do the right thing" by Babs, then adorably adds that he's going to be the "best table-cleaner-upper" his new daughter has ever seen, because before he got involved with Barbara -- and through her, RevCam -- he never had a chance at anything like this. RevCam smiles, all teary-eyed, because knowing how good he is at changing lives is what keeps him going.
Back at the CamPound, Babs tells Annie about her ultimatum to Sam, adding that she only created the job condition because she didn't think he could get one, and therefore they would never get married. How passive-aggressive of you, Babs. Not to mention stupid. ["And now it becomes clear why she and Annie became such fast friends." -- Wing Chun] It turns out that Babs has no intention of ever marrying Sam because she's sixteen and he's a twenty-five year-old criminal. Whoa, he's twenty-five? And he had sex with a then-fifteen year-old girl? Sam's kind of pervy. Still cute, though. Annie is simply baffled by the idea of someone not immediately wanting to marry the father of her child. Babs says that it's a shame her baby won't have married parents, but that she doesn't think she even loves Sam; she only told Sam she loved him "as an excuse to have some fun." Hold on now, Babs: a few scenes ago, you were sobbing into your ugly turtleneck maternity sweater that Sam pressured you to have sex, and now you're saying that you're the one who lied about being in love just so you could do it? Which one is it? Cassie tells Babs that she doesn't have to marry Sam, and then asks for Annie for backup. Annie is torn; on one hand, premarital sex is wrong and if Sam and Babs don't get married then their children will be always bear the stain of their parents' sins. On the other hand, telling a sixteen-year-old girl to marry a twenty-five-year-old crackhead seems just as wrong. Annie wisely gets out of the moral dilemma entirely with a snide remark about how it's good that Sam is getting a job because "babies like food and shelter. They're funny that way." Brilliant advice, Annie, although I'm pretty sure providing your new baby with food and shelter was one of the first things covered in the "My First Baby" class. In fact, it may have even been in the pre-class reading homework. Cassie wonders aloud how RevCam will do with the father of her baby, "Crazy Roger," who doesn't even know that she's pregnant, although apparently he'll be finding out soon! But don't think that Cassie's setting a benevolent pastor up to get punched in the face -- surely Roger isn't the type to harm the bearer of bad news. People with nicknames like "Crazy Roger" are often an even-tempered and meek sort of folk. Babs asks Cassie why she never told Roger about the baby, to which Cassie responds that she hasn't been able to speak to Roger ever since she dated his brother. Babs just laughs at this, while Annie cries the Tears of a Clownface into the vegetables she bought at the local Piggly Wiggly.