7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C+ | 332 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Letting Go

Annie is engaging in some boring bonding with the twins when Patty Mary walks by the door. You can tell she's anxious to get away without being seen, but it's too late, and she has to talk to Annie. She explains to the woman that she and her hunky brothers don't want their mother to date, and that's why the guys have to leave for Buffalo so soon. I can't say it makes any more sense to me now than it did the first time I heard it.

Ruthie calls Plot Contrivance on her cell phone to beg her to get Dopey to stay at the CamPound tonight. It has something to do with Ruthie being afraid she can't keep their secret much longer. The whole conversation is stupid, but mercifully it's not dragged out very long, since Robbie interrupts to speak to Ruthie. Naturally, Ruthie hangs up on PC without even saying goodbye. What does Robbie need to talk to Ruthie about, anyway? Well, he just wants to let her know that he's already thrown out the phone bill, so there's no incriminating record of any calls she's made. This whole subplot is so ridiculous that I refuse to dwell on it. Robbie tries to get Ruthie to confide her secret to him, but she won't. Then he asks her why she was trying to annoy Lucy and Mary earlier by revealing their secrets to the Hunky Buffalo Brothers. Ruthie explains that she was mad at Lucy for not waking her up when the Buffalo Brothers arrived, and that she's angry with Mary for not discussing her new career choice with her. Robbie whacks her with the theme mallet, trying to get her to realize that her siblings have lives of their own. He does a good job in this scene, even if he does call Ruthie "Snookie," which makes me long to whack him with something even heavier than the theme mallet -- if such a thing exists.

RevCam is still talking to the Control Freaks in his office. Mrs. Control Freak lets him know that Annie recommended him as a counselor. She'd overheard the Control Freaks talking about their problem in the supermarket and had volunteered Eric's help. Oddly enough, Mrs. Control Freak seems to view that as a good thing, rather than the rude and pushy action that it really was.

This lovely conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Jeremiah and his Jezebel, whose real name turns out to be Kathleen. Kathleen's even brought her daughter Katie along. Everyone sits down, and Jeremiah offers to explain his situation. He starts out by praising his parents for all the things they've done for him -- including making his bed and cutting up his steak for him. These two comments cause Katie to snicker rudely. She's a prize, obviously. Back to Jeremiah, though. It's his turn to man the theme mallet as he explains that he had leave and have his own life, and that he is planning to marry Kathleen. When the Control Freaks insist that he's not ready to be a father, that irritating Katie pipes up with, "Oh, but he is ready to be a father, and a husband too." How she could have any reasonable assessment of his fitness as a husband is a mystery to me. Whether we want to know or not, Kathleen tells us how she came to adopt Katie, who was a foster child. Katie pipes up, "My mom has problems and my grandma died, so there wasn't anybody to take care of me." Hey, guess what, little troll? Nobody gives a crap. Undaunted by my lack of interest, Katie continues: "I've never had a dad. Will you marry us? Please? Please?" Is she asking RevCam to perform Jeremiah and Kathleen's wedding service? Or is she suggesting that the Control Freaks marry her and Kathleen and Jeremiah? It's all a little unclear, but far too uninteresting to speculate on. Jeremiah gets in one more whack with the theme mallet as he asks his parents to let go of him. They say they'll think it over. As they're leaving, Mrs. Control Freak yells back from the hallway, "Pot roast for dinner if anybody's interested." RevCam tells Jeremiah, "Run." When Jerry and his women are out of the office, RevCam stage-whispers, "No, I meant the other way," which may be the only time I've laughed out loud at an intentional joke this season. I do think it's pretty funny that RevCam did absolutely nothing to help these people but provide an office in which they could solve their own problems. Yeah, he's some miracle worker, that RevCam. Alone in his office, he stares thoughtfully at a picture of Dopey for a while. I think we can all see where this is going.

7th Heaven

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