Chandler...Hampton is on the phone with Roxanne. Wow, we haven't even hit the credits yet and we've got two phone conversations under our collective hypothetical belts. Chandler is stuck in Kansas. He was en route to see his dad. And he never should have sent Eric to talk to him on his behalf. What? Last week Chandler acted like Eric just went off on his own! Oh, who cares.

Eric stands in Whitebread General Hospital's most bustling corridor, talking to the nosey redhead nurse. Nurse Redhead plotzes when she finds out that Barry "told" her he had knocked up Sarah before he told his own dad. Hey, what better way to spread news than tell a big fat gossip who works in a crowded hallway? Eric sees the man he thinks is Chandler's father and goes to talk to him, but Nurse Redhead (of course) tells him that he isn't Chandler's father after all, but "the man Mr. Hampton insists on sharing a room with." Mr. Hampton is a "big, scary guy; everyone in the hospital knows who Mr. Hampton is." Everyone except Eric. His face? Shocked. Shocked, I tells you. He's powerful shocked.

Credits. Seeeaa-venth heaven! When I see their happy faces, smilin' back at me...seeeaa-venth heaven! Where can you goooooo! When the world don't treat you right? The answer is hoooome! Mmmm! Seeeaa-venth heaven! Woof!

CamPound. Lucy stares into the mirror, exhaling loudly and pressing her hands on her abdomen. Wow, Lucy has no hips at all. I like her low-rise black jeans. Do they make them for adult women, too? I only ever see them in blue. She takes a pillow from the bed and stuffs it under her t-shirt, them jumps a mile when the KevBot T-2000 comes up the stairs. He says he knows she needs some time alone, but if something's wrong, she should talk to him. She says everything's fine, but her crestfallen face says she should never play poker. No, wait; she should play poker. I'll win those cute jeans from her in no time. She repeats that she just needs some time alone; maybe "some time alone outside." She runs down the stairs. What an idiot.