7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
651 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Die already

Ruthie sits sadly on her bed, bleeding, bleeding. She's also reading, reading. Her mouth is a sad little bow. The piano weeps for her. She bleeds, alone, alone. Well, she was until Annie walked in and ruined it. Annie says she knows. Why Ruthie has been "emotional and moody and needing more privacy. [She] know[s] [Ruthie] started [her] period. Now is there anything [Ruthie] wants to say?" Ruthie wants to "kill Peter Petrowski." Damn Owskis. They're always up to no good.

Lucy thinks Kevin should tell Simon that his prom date is a hooker. Why ruin the surprise when he gets the bill? That look on his face will be priceless. Kevin says, "She may have retired when she got arrested! Besides, it's just for one night, what's the worst that could happen?" If this were a different kind of show, Simon could rent her out by the hour and be both a hero to his class and help Cecilia pay for college. But nooo. Only the sexless kind of escort gets paid in Glenoak. Lucy says she has to go meet Mary at the Promenade. Kevin is all, whuh? What, they're sisters, they need to talk! What, did Mary just take the Concorde?

Ruthie stomps down the stairs, says hi to her dad, then announces that she has to "go kill Peter Petrowski." Annie follows and announces that Ruthie "just became a woman, yesterday." Eric is all, "She..?" Yup. Larraine covers her mouth and makes a breathy "oh" noise. Ruthie, denied the murder of Peter (it's too late to go over there), stomps back up to her room, and Larraine goes to the kitchen for another sherry. Annie looks tearfully at her husband, who says dumbly, "Ruthie became a woman, yesterday?" Annie starts to blubber and says yeah. Eric hugs her, then asks, "Why are we using the euphemism 'became a woman'?" Because you suck? No, because that's what Peter told her yesterday. Annie blubbers over the fact that Peter knew before she did. Shut up, Annie. You didn't say anything to Ruthie other than that you know! Kids need a little more than that!

7th Heaven

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