7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: D | 962 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Life Is Too Beautiful

Up to the Dynamic Duo, getting ready to go to school. Lucy: "Did you get your math quiz signed?" Mary: "No, but I'm going to ask Dad right now." Lucy: "Wait. We're not supposed to upset him. Why don't you just ask Mom?" Mary: "Because right now, Dad is unupsetable [sic]." Lucy: "But should you be taking advantage of his...his...his..." Mary: "His post-heart-attack insanity?" Lucy: "If you want to call it that." Mary: "Well, Mom said it wouldn't last, so we might as well enjoy it while it's here. Wanna come?" Lucy: "Why not. Even if it is post-heart-attack insanity, he's still Dad, and you're still you, so this should be fun." Yeah. Fun. Maybe after a fifth of Stoli.

To the RevCave, where RevCam is sitting in the lotus position and breathing slowly. Lucy and Mary enter, and Mary shows RevCam her test, which has clearly gotten a low mark. RevCam gives a minor speech about Mary's interests and achievements, the irrelevance of trigonometry, and the socio-political effects of free market economy, and ends with, "Life is deeper, more meaningful, and more complex than you can imagine. Now, if I let you off with just signing this test and not telling you how important you are to me, how important it is for you to have good grades and more importantly, a good mind, then I would be missing out on some kind of parental bliss." "Parental bliss"? Oh, man. I hate to say it, but shut up, RevCam. You're getting annoying.

And we're BACK to the kitchen, where Simon, Lucy, and SuperMom are sitting down to breakfast. Simon asks Lucy if she did her homework, and she tells him to mind his own business. Word, Lucy. Simon: "Well, I'm gonna round up the other kids as soon as I shave." Mr. Stupidhead: "'Kids'? 'Shave'? BWA HA HA!" Lucy: "'Shave'?" SuperMom: "When did you start shaving?" Simon: "When Dad came home from the hospital." Lucy tries not to burst out laughing, but lets a few snorts loose. Upon hearing this, Simon gets pissed and leaves. Mary and RevCam enter, and RevCam begins another speech about human connection ("as in the opposite of alienation"). He then tells the Dynamic Duo that while they're at school today, he wants them to "enlist the assistance of someone they had previously alienated." The Dynamic Duo exchanges a "wha-da-fuh?" glance as RevCam goes on to tell them to spread the word to the other siblings. Matt enters, announces he only has fifteen minutes until class, sees RevCam, and bolts upstairs faster than you can say "hot pants." Hot pants. Yep! That fast!

7th Heaven

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