Ruthie's room. Simon's just checking in to see if Ruthie's made friends at school. Apparently she did. This is irrelevant. Ruthie: "Wanna color?" Simon: "No." Ruthie: "Too girly for you?" Simon: "Yeah." Simon exits. Ruthie: "But you don't mind crying like a baby. Go figure." I can't believe I'm about to say this, but word. And, shut up.
At the pad, Matt runs in to John, who's on his way out to meet a friend. Matt wonders suspiciously who it is, to which John replies, "It's not Shana, OKAY?" Matt: "Whatever." John: "Whatever." Mr. S: "Whatever, indeed!" Matt: "Look, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I don't get to see her enough, and I resent the two of you spending so much time together. Why'd you two have to become friends, anyway?" John says he was just following RevCam's advice, and "besides, why are you wasting your time worrying about me and Shana when there are plenty of guys out there who aren't your best friend talking to her day and night. Think about it. I'm not your competition." He leaves, and pops his head in again to say, "And you've got nothing to worry about. The girl loves you, man." At this, Chickenhead herself appears behind John's shoulders and says "Good night, John." He's outta there. Shana and Matt now have some "alone time." Now, they pork (tm National Lampoon's European Vacation).
Speaking of people about to pork, cut to the bathtub with Eric and Annie, discussing Eric's experience during his heart attack. Eric describes what he saw as a series of photographs of himself, THE COLONEL, and all of his forefathers. But the pictures depicted things he had never himself been able to see, such as "THE COLONEL rushing in to see me when I was born." RevCam also saw "men doing good. Men being kind. Men working hard, helping others. Men struggling through their tears. Men laughing. Men celebrating being men. I woke up feeling stronger than ever, better than ever, more confident than ever because we are all the good things that all those that have gone before us are, and all the bad things fall away." Annie: "That's beautiful." Mr. Stupidhead: "Well, I'm glad that's out of the way." RevCam wonders aloud about his fascination with floating soap, and I assume, because we're now fading to an exterior shot of the house in the morning, that now they too are going to pork. Ugh. ("I really hope, for their sakes, that they use birth control." -- Sars)
Breakfast time with the ladies of the house, where SuperMom is telling Lucy that she thinks Habitat for Humanity is a fine establishment. Lucy: "I was hoping you could teach me some practical skills." SuperMom: "I'll be happy to teach my children anything I know." Mary: "Except trigonometry." SuperMom: "No. No trigonometry." They all chuckle. Ruthie: "Well, things are practically back to normal." Lucy: "What do you mean by practically?" Ruthie points upstairs, where we see RevCam, Matt, and Simon all huddled around the bathroom mirror, shaving. Simon cracks wise about Matt missing a spot, and they all chuckle as Kenny G brings us to the closing credits.