7th Heaven
Life Is Too Beautiful

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: D | Grade It Now!
Life Is Too Beautiful

Matt's pad. He's calling Chickenhead, but he gets her answering machine. When he hangs up, Chickenhead shows up with John. Matt is not pleased. Chickenhead: "Is something wrong?" Matt: "No. Nothing's wrong. I'm glad the two of you have so much time for each other." John makes an oh-so-that's-how-it-is face and goes to get ready for work. Chickenhead: "I thought you'd be happy that John and I were getting along. I had felt kind of left out." Matt: "Well, guess who's feeling left out now?" Mr. Stupidhead: "Shut up, the botha youse!"

At 7th Heaven High, Simon bumps into Bully Boy again. Bully Boy asks how the "man of the house" gig is treating Simon. Simon confides that it isn't really working, and that nobody pays him any mind. After pointing out a shaving cut on Simon's face, Bully Boy explains that he's been there, and that when his dad died, he cried a lot. Then he and his mom went to see RevCam, who told him he could "cry, and still be a man. I can get my feelings hurt, and be a man. Because men do have feelings." Then a friend of Bully Boys comes up and says, "Come on, Wimpy. We got practice." Bully Boy: "Wimpy's my nickname. Eh, what do I care?" All right, Wimpy. Whatever you say, Wimpy. See you later, Wimpy. What do you care, WIMPY?

So Matt pulls up in the Penismobile, accompanied by Ruthie. Simon asks, "Where's Mom?" Matt: "Mom's busy, and Mary's got practice." Simon then submits a verbal query as to the whereabouts of Lucy, and Matt tells him she's on a secret adventure. Simon becomes peeved because he wasn't informed. Simon: "I should've found out." Matt: "Why, little man? What difference does it make?" Heh heh. Simon: "All right, that's it. Get out of the car." Ruthie: "Oh, boy! Brother against brother. Not since the Civil War!" CAN'T SOMEONE PLEASE TELL RUTHIE TO SHUT UP? Matt: "Why -- you planning on beating me up?" Simon: "No, I plan on telling you off! Now get out and take it like a man." Damn. Them's fightin' words. Not. Ruthie: "If there's gonna be a fight, I want to jump in like a woman. Specifically, Xena." Nice plug, o Almighty Bigwigs at the WB. Outside the car, Simon blah blah upset blah blah man of the house blah blah blah undermining my authority (?) blah blah laughed at me when I was shaving blah blah hurt my feelings blah blah blah couscous. Matt says he feels terrible, and they hug -- and cry -- in front of all of Simon's peers. Think he's got problems now? Just wait until the "Simon Goes Through Changes" episode. Anyway, to end this scene, Ruthie states, "God save my soul. When are things going back to normal?" Meanwhile, in New York City, Mr. Stupidhead calls his Uncle Vinnie in the Cayman Islands to see if something can't be done about the "Ruthie Situation."

In the kitchen, Mary and Mrs. Beeker are sharing a chuckle. Mrs. B: "You see?" Mary, sheepishly: "I feel like such a dope." Mrs. B: "Well, you shouldn't. It's just that no one has ever explained trigonometry to you in a way that made sense. Oh, no offense to the Reverend or your mom." During this interaction, Lucy comes in to get something from the fridge, and literally does a double-take when she sees Mrs. B. Lucy: "What's going on?" Mary: "Mrs. Beeker's helping me with my homework." Mrs. B: "I left you a plate in the microwave, dessert's in the fridge." Mary, in a sultry voice: "Lemon meringue." Mmmmmmmm, lemon meringue (tm Homer J.). Mrs. B rules. Mary and Lucy get into a discussion about Lucy's experience with Habitat for Humanity. Mary: "So you're going to work for Habitat for Humanity for the rest of your life?" Lucy: "I hope so. I want to design and build low-income housing, and volunteer whatever time I have while I'm learning to do that." Mary is proud of Lucy, but Lucy owes it all to Mary for giving her the push. As they hug, Mrs. B reenters and says, "Oh, I love this family," then exits. Lucy: "You know she's going to tell the whole town that you're not good at math." Mary: "I don't care, though. I'd rather the whole world know than do homework with Mom again." She's got a point.

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7th Heaven




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