7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 733 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Monkey Sex And Strumpets

Annie comes back into the kitchen, so the boys run over to the fridge and crowd around it stupidly as Mary and Lucy come home. Mary attempts to break the boundaries of clothing ugliness with her big bright orange flannel shirt as she and Lucy say that, with the prom coming up tomorrow, their whole school has "pa-rom fever," and get this -- they're hoping to go to the prom with Matt. Like, as his date. Holy crap, that's like the most pathetic thing I think I've ever, ever, ever heard. That's like "still living with your parents over the age of thirty" pathetic. Lucy and Mary promote fairness in the family by saying that they will flip a coin to see who gets to go to the prom with Matt. Annie doesn't think that Matt will go along with this. Wow, when did Annie become the only person in the house with any sense of reality? Mary's holding a banana, thus adding even more sexual connotations to what was already a squicky scene, as she says that since Matt never talks to them at school, no one will know that they're even related to him, so he won't object to taking them to the prom. That doesn't even make sense.

Mary and Lucy run off together as Simon and Kyle finally exit the fridge with piles of food. As they go to Simon's room, Kyle comments that Mary and Lucy are "foxes." Well, my English grandmother says that foxes, which are always getting into her garden and eating her vegetables and pooping all over the place, are all "horrible vermin," and that she would kill every one of them if she had the chance. So I guess Kyle's right. Speaking of horrible vermin, here comes Ruthie. Diabetics in the viewing audience go into comas as skips into the kitchen while humming cheerfully. She's happy because "Snappy the Stegosaurus -- only the coolest dinosaur in the whole world -- is doing a live show tomorrow in Glenoak!" And Ruthie wants to go see it. Annie tells Ruthie that she'll try to arrange it, but Ruthie shouldn't get her hopes up. And here comes Matt. Annie asks him if he has a prom date yet. Matt says he doesn't, but he's not going anyway because the prom is a "couples" thing. Strange, I thought the only people who said that were losers who couldn't get prom dates. I'm just saying.

7th Heaven

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