7th Heaven
Little White Lies, Part I

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | Grade It Now!
Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

It's nighttime at the CamPound, and Martin and Asslee are having themselves a gratuitous make-out session on the living room couch, except that they're both sitting upright, their bodies are at least a foot apart, and they're kissing close-mouthed. Other than that, it's a total porno. Ruthie and Peter walk by and stare at them. Peter wonders if the CamRents are "cool" with the kind of "studying" that Martin and Asslee are doing in their living room in front of their small children. Well, of course they are! Case in point: in comes RevCam, his special RevSense all a-tingling because there is a couple making out in close proximity. RevCam finds Martin and Asslee and watches like a total creepo. Meanwhile, even though three people are talking at top volume only a few feet away from them, Martin and Asslee keep going at it. Ruthie and Peter go upstairs "to study." Ruthie tells her dad not to worry: they don't "study" like Martin and Asslee, nor do they study "as much." Yeah, no shit you don't. I think it's pretty safe to say that neither of them has ever cracked a metaphorical book. RevCam watches them leave, then turns back to where the real action is.

Upstairs, Peter asks Ruthie when she's planning to tell her dad about something she did in school today. Ruthie says she will sooner or later. Then she asks Peter why he's leering at her. Pete-o Suave says that they could get really good grades if they studied as much as Martin and Asslee. Ruthie snots that she "already make(s) straight As." Ooooh, rejected!

In the CamKitchen, Annie's on the phone with Carlos. She wants to come to New York when Mary has her baby. Carlos says that if Annie comes, then everyone he's related to will want to come, and that would suck, much like that excuse. In that case, says Annie, she's going to keep calling and checking in. Carlos is all, "whatever," and they hang up on each other. RevCam comes in and comforts Annie for not being able to go to New York or whatever. Then Annie stares directly at the camera and says, "You look worried." Ah, ha ha, no, Annie: the expression on my face would be more accurately described as "disgust" or even "pained grimace." Actually, she's asking RevCam what he's worried about. RevCam says it's Martin. Annie says that unless Martin is pregnant, she doesn't care. RevCam says nothing. "Martin's pregnant?" Annie asks. All right! It's about time I got to recap a show that broke some boundaries! RevCam says that Martin isn't pregnant, "yet." So there's still hope.

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7th Heaven




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